New Hope
CE, March 2003
William
Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Executive
Director of New Hope
WELCOME
My seminar
is called "Living and Caring with God's Pleasure." You're
going to discover that God wants you alive with His life and
love and that He's called you and empowered you to share this
with others. And, here's the best part, when you live and
care for others like this will enjoy God's pleasure!
This hour
will be more than a seminar. It's an opportunity for your heart
to awaken to a journey with God. I know that you're going to
be blessed by it because I have been! It's my story. It's
the journey I'm on.
As I was
preparing for this talk I felt energized by God. I was up
until 1:30 am working on it. It wasn't a compulsive, workaholic
frenzy. I know about that! It wasn't a time of anxious,
obsessing over worries. I know about that too! It was my
passion and my prayers. It was God inspiring me to tell you
how he's been helping me to live and care for others with
His pleasure.
PRAYER
Let's
pray together for your experience with this class. Dear Father
God, I lift up my New Hope comrades to you. Open their hearts
to see your smile, to sense the wellspring of the Spirit in
their souls giving your life, and to hear your voice calling
them to a higher purpose for living and caring with your pleasure.
Use us as New Hope Counseling "ambassadors for Christ" to
share your care and kindness to those who are hurting. In
Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
GOD
WANTS US TO LIVE AND CARE WITH JOY
That's
why the Bible says, "The Lord will take great delight in you.
He will rejoice over you with singing. He will quiet you
with His love (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV). He has made known to
you the path of life; He will fill you with joy in His presence,
with eternal pleasures at His right hand (Psalm 16:11, NIV).
Yes, the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10, NIV).
For in his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living
hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In this you
greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have
had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. For you are receiving
the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls (1 Peter
1:3,6,9, NIV). So let's rejoice! Rejoice in the Lord always!
(Philippians 4:4, NIV) It's only in Him that we live and
move and have our being (Acts 17:28, NIV). Through Christ
we can live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit
(Galatians 5:13, Message). Truly, the Lord has his eye on
us and has designs on us for glorious living! (Ephesians 1:12,
Message) So continue with others for their progress and joy
in the faith, so that through them being with you again their
joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of you." (Philippians
1:25-26, NIV)
That's the
gospel! That's how God wants us to live. And I have the Scripture
references for the nine Bible passages that make up that "love
note" from God to prove it.
Are you
Living a "Glorious Adventure?"
Do you
believe that God delights in you and has called you to live
a glorious adventure? Are you living this way?
A little
over a year ago I realized that I wasn't living my life and
caring for others with God's pleasure, at least not to the
degree that I am now. I had become like a can of soda pop
that had gone flat. The fizz was missing. The sparkle in
my eyes was lost.
What went
wrong? I had neglected my First Love and lost my passion
for serving Him. Slowly, over almost 20 years, I had forgotten
the lessons that God had taught me. I had become somewhat
bored with being a counselor. Stressed by managing New Hope.
Tired of working mostly to pay bills. I was spiritually flat
and going from day to day without the focus I needed.
This seminar
is how I'm learning to live. It's how I'm learning to live
and care with God's pleasure.
LEAN
INTO LIFE'S WHITEWATERS
Living
and caring with God's pleasure is an adventure! It's not
for the faint of heart. It's not for the hesitant. It takes
faith. We need to go for it with all we've got!
Last year
I went whitewater rafting on the Kern River with my 11-year
old son and his by Boy Scout trip. What a thrilling adventure!
And scary too! Driving on the highway along the river we
saw a sign that said, "264 people have died in the Kern river
since 1962." I thought about turning around. If that wasn't
bad enough, I learned that just one-week prior someone died
in the river.
This was
on my mind at the roughest section of the classs-3 rapids
when our guide yelled, "High water hard!" which
he had taught us meant, "Lean forward into the high waters
and paddle hard or else we'll flip over!"
Being
one of the two front paddlers, I knew my role was crucial
so I leaned out over the tip of the raft and into the splashing
waves and paddled furiously through about a five foot dip,
screaming, " Ahhhh! Ahh!" and then finally, "Yes!
We did it!"
My excitement
and sense of conquest was abruptly curtailed though when our
guide yelled out to the other guide on the raft next to us,
"Rescue!" One of the women on our raft had been
catapulted into the water. She was careening down the river
head first (not feet first as she had been instructed!) and
had to be pulled to safety by the other guide. She bruised
and bloodied her hand and needed stitches, but she was going
to be okay.
My son
and I, and I think the others too, gained something important
from prevailing in our battle with the roaring whitewaters
and crashing waves - trust. To avoid the jutting rocks and
to crash through the turbulent waves we had to trust our guide,
who knew the Kern River like the back of his hand, was right
in telling us to lean into the rough waters.
Leaning
into the crashing waves and paddling through a five foot drop
in the river?
Joy
in Trials
That's
like the Scripture: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever
you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing
of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish
its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything." (James 1:2-4)
Joy in
trials? It's the opposite of what we tend to do. We lean
away from life's turbulence when we complain about our problems
or avoid other people's pain.
That's
what I found myself doing a few months ago when my raft crashed
into a series of pre-adolescent rapids with my son, the same
son who went on the whitewater raft trip with me. Disobedience,
defiance, negativity, bullying his younger sisters. But underneath
it all he was pressured and depressed by schoolwork, added
responsibilities, and feeling like he wasn't appreciated in
our home.
And I'm
supposed to be a psychologist! It's tough to be a psychologist
and a parent. You don't believe me? The other day my daughter
complained, "You don't even care about how I feel. You shouldn't
be a counselor for other people!"
"Lean
into the rough waters Bill. Rejoice in your trials." To
live with this attitude I have to remind myself of this again
and again. This is an opportunity to teach my son to respect
authority. I have the chance to show him that my love for
him doesn't change even when he's difficult. And, here's
the amazing part, when I do this I actually feel good! I
feel better about myself and closer to the ones I love.
BEFRIEND
OUR PAIN AND OTHERS PAIN
It's
ironic, but to live and care with God's pleasure we need to
feel pain. John Powell, S.J., a professor at Loyola University
in Chicago, shared a touching story that I came across. It
illustrates my point that when we connect with our pain and
others pain we connect with God and His joy.
I stood
watching my university students file into the classroom for
our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the first
day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked.
He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six-inches
below his shoulders. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for
strange... very strange.
Tommy
turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in class.
He constantly objected to, smirked at or whined about the
possibility of an unconditionally loving Father-God.
When
he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam,
he asked in a slightly cynical tone: "Do you think I'll ever
find God?"
"No!"
I said very emphatically.
"Oh,"
he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing."
I let
him get five steps from the classroom door and then called
out: "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find him, but
I am absolutely certain that he will find you!"
He shrugged
a little and left my class and my life.
How Tommy,
the Atheist, Found God
Later
I heard that Tommy had graduated; then a sad report, I heard
that he had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out,
he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body
was very badly wasted, and the long hair had all fallen out
as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his
voice was firm when he said, "For the first time, I believe."
"Tommy,
I've thought about you so often. I hear you're sick!" I blurted
out.
"Yes,
very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."
"Can
you talk about it, Tom?"
"Sure,
what would you like to know?"
"What's
it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"
"Well,
it could be worse."
"Like
what?"
"Well,
like being fifty and having no values or ideals. Like being
fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making
money are the real 'biggies' in life."
I began
to look through my mental file cabinet under "S"
where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody
I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my
life to educate me.)
"But
what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "Is something
you said
to me on the last day of class. I asked you if you thought
I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised
me. Then you said, 'But he will find you!' I thought about
that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense
at that time."
"But
when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me
that it was malignant, then I got serious about locating God.
And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really
began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven.
But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened."
"Well,
one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile
appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may
not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really
care... about God, about an after-life or anything like that."
"I decided
to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable.
I thought about you and your class and I remembered something
else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through
life without loving. But it would be almost equally
sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling
those you loved that you had loved them.'"
"So I
began with the hardest one: my Dad. He was reading the newspaper
when I approached him."
"Dad."
"Yes,
what?" He asked without lowering the newspaper.
"Dad,
I would like to talk with you."
"Well,
talk."
"I mean.
It's really important!" The newspaper came down three slow
inches.
"What
is it?"
"Dad,
I love you. I just wanted you to know that."
Tom smiled
at me and said with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt
a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him: "The newspaper
fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could
never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged
me. And we talked all night, even though he had to go to work
the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father,
to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he
loved me."
"It was
easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with
me, too, and we hugged each other and started saying real
nice things to each other. We shared the things we had
been keeping secret for so many years."
"I was
only sorry about one thing; that I had waited so long.
Here I was just beginning to open up to all the people I had
actually been close to."
"Then,
one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come
to me when I pleaded with him. I guess I was like an animal
trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon,
I'll give you three days.... three weeks.' Apparently
God does things in his own way and at his own hour. But He
was there. He found me. He found me even after I stopped looking
for Him."
Tommy
Died But His Story Lives On
Tommy
was scheduled to share his story in John Powell's class, but
he died. But the story lives on as Tommy asked for.
When
Tommy accepted his terminal cancer and his broken relationship
with his father God showed up. He finally experienced God's
love. He came alive!
And when
John Powel entered into Tommy's dying and his pain with him
he too experienced the love and joy of the Lord.
This
is what I want to do. To feel my painful feelings and share
my heart with my friends. To embrace others in pain as I've
been doing the last 16 years as a psychotherapist. What a
priviledge and honor it is when someone trusts me with their
hurt places and I get to be Christ's ambassador and offer
his comfort. It's a sacred moment and God always shows up
with his love, joy, and peace in the midst of the pain.
What
the Bible teaches is true. Those who mourn are blessed and
God is close to the broken hearted.
REACH
OUT FOR GOD'S GRACE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST
We need
to be in relationship with gracious people to enjoy life and
caring.
The summer
before my Sr. year of college I worked as an apprentice butcher.
It was one of the most painful times in my life. Certainly
a chance to "lean into the turbulence!" and "Befriend my pain."
But the
butchers butchered me! They criticized my mistakes. And
I made plenty since I was just learning their trade. They
harassed me at every chance they could because they resented
that I was there to make money for college, not to become
a butcher. They persecuted me for being a Christian and a
moral kid, cussing at me, spewing out filth, and laughing
at me. I held back tears. I tried to be strong. I worked
my hardest to do everything right and to be a good Christian.
But they
got the best of me and before the summer was over I quit the
job and walked away from money I needed for college. I was
exhausted, broken, and believed I was a failure. I went home,
feeling like a dog, licking my wounds.
I went
on a 3-day retreat that I had planned at the beginning of
the summer. I needed to make decisions about my future.
What would I do with my psychology degree? I thought I'd
go to graduate school, but where? So I had these days set
aside for solitude, fasting, meditation, and prayer. But
then I got beat up in the meat market. I didn't want to go,
but I went anyway.
I
Had a Vision
My experience
at the monastery was meaningful, but not revolutionary. The
next day was a turning point though. I was in church singing,
"How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings
good news. Good news. Announcing peace, proclaiming news
of happiness. Our God reigns! Our God reigns!"
Suddenly,
in my mind's eye I saw myself at the bottom of Mount Sinai,
where Moses got the 10 commandments. I wanted to climb to
the top to meet with God, but I felt dejected, exhausted,
and incapable. I felt the sense of shame and isolation that
I felt in the meat market. But I was telling myself that
I had to get up. I had to work at it. I had to try harder
and do better.
Then my
anxious, self-critical and self-demanding thoughts were interrupted
by the sight of Jesus coming down the mountain. He was looking
at me with eyes of compassion. He stopped when he came to
me and picked me up and put me over his shoulders. He started
to carry me up the mountain. A crowd formed and people started
to insult him, spit at him, yell at him, and beat him. I
realized that I was like the cross on his back. He was taking
on himself the persecution I experienced and my sins. He
carried me all the way into the presence of God, to the top
of the mountain.
And all
I could see where his feet. "How lovely on the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news!"
I Learned
to Seek the Grace I Need
After
that I learned that I needed God's grace more than anything.
I was tired of isolating myself and working so hard to measure
up. Instead I was going to feel my feelings and to ask for
help.
So during
my Senior year of college I started to open up my heart. First
to one of my psychology professors who was my mentor. Then
in a support group. And to my roommate and to a girl named
Kristi who I started dating. (She later became my wife!)
I learned
that the gracious acceptance I received for being honest was
so much better than the praise I got for being ideal.
These
support people were like God with skin on to me. They were
the Body of Christ for me. They helped me experience the
grace of God that touched my heart so clearly in my vision.
LISTEN
TO GOD WITH OUR HEART
To live
and care with God's pleasure we also need to listen to our
heart.
There
are so many ways that God speaks to us - the Bible, prayer,
sacraments like communion, wise Christians, friends, nature.
But there's only one way that we hear what God is saying -
with our hearts.
This is
exactly what David told us in Psalm 18:6, "I will praise the
Lord who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me."
Maybe
you Think your Heart is Bad?
Few Christians
today understand this. You've probably been told that your
heart is bad, untrustworthy, or that is not so important compared
to your thoughts and beliefs. Maybe you've had Jeremiah 17:9
misused to bully your heart, "The heart is wicked and deceitful..."
Without the influence of Christ that's true, but even Jeremiah
foresaw that God would give his people new hearts that would
be responsive to Him. Ezekiel said the same thing.
And Isaiah
promised that as we go along in life our ears will hear God's
voice saying this is the way, walk in it.
Solomon
taught that we can learn to trust in the Lord with all our
hearts and have him direct our paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Paul prayed
that the eyes of our hearts would be opened to know the hope
of God's calling. (Ephesians 1:18)
Jesus
himself told us that with our whole hearts we're to love God
and people.
As Christians
our hearts are being made good and trustworthy. So with David,
the man after God's own heart, we can "Delight ourselves in
the Lord, knowing that He will give us the desires of our
hearts." (Psalm 37:4)
What this
means is that God isn't going to call you to be a missionary
in Africa if you would hate doing that! He's going to lead
you to do things that you love! Yes, some of the things he
has us do are difficult or painful, but always they are good
for our souls.
Here's
what it's like to Listen to God
Listening
to God is a moment-by-moment experience. It's being aware
of his presence in the here and now. It's how we experience
God's joy and it's how He guides us. The Apostle Paul calls
it "walking in the Spirit." Brother Lawrence called it "practicing
the presence of God." Alcoholics Anonymous calls it "making
conscious contact with God."
It's
like wearing a Miner's Hat. You know the hats with lights
on them. God gives us the light we need for one step at a
time. Take that step and we have the light we need for the
next step. And so we follow Him one step at a time.
Recently,
I was talking with a priest who meets with me for spiritual
direction. He told me about an experience he had when he
was preparing for a mass that he was to lead. He was busily
and methodically going through his routine of getting the
eucharist ready. When all of a sudden, he heard the meow
of a cat. He stopped what he was doing and looked toward
the side door. There stood an adorable black and white cat
purring at him. Then it crept right up to him and snuggled
against his leg! In a flash, my friend sensed God saying
to him, "I'm here with you. I love you. You're blessed to
be a blessing."
"I guess
I shouldn't be surprised that God spoke to me through a stray
cat," my friend chuckled. " Afterall, God spoke to Balaam
through a donkey in the Old Testament (Numbers 22). I was
tuned out when I needed to be tuned in. I had forgotten the
most important preparation for the mass - myself. God used
the purring and snuggling of that cat to love on me and then
I was able to share His love with those who came to the service."
RECEIVE
OUR MISSION FROM GOD
Here's
the bottom line, the moral of the story that I've been leading
up to. To live and care with God's pleasure you need to live
with an identified mission, an understanding of what God has
called you to be and do in this life.
God has
a higher purpose for us. He wants to live his life through
us - a life of joy, delighting in Him and His will, passionate
about walking with Him and sharing his life with others.
We have
Different Gifts
The Apostle
Paul says in Romans 12:4-8 that God has given each of us different
gifts by his grace so that we might encourage one another
and share God's love with those in need. He's made each of
us with our own personalities and abilities.
In this
passage Paul gives us a helpful list of 7 service gifts.
Listen for the one or two of these that are your gifts: preaching
God's word, serving, teaching, encouraging, leading, giving
help to people in distress, and caring for those in need.
Knowing
your Life Mission
The Westminister
Catechism asks: "What is the chief end of man?" The answer
is: "To glorify God and enjoy Him forever." Broadly speaking
that's a good mission statement for all Christians.
And here's
the beauty of it. John Piper teaches that God's glory and
our enjoyment are linked: We experience our greatest pleasure
when we're glorifying God, or, said the other way, all true
joys exalt the Lord.
Do you
know what your life mission is? Do you live with a purpose
that excites you?
A mission
statement is like the rudder in a sail boat. When you know
your purpose you can steer the boat of your life in the right
direction.
It doesn't
mean there won't be storms to toss your boat around. There
will. You may even get blown off course. Nor does it mean
that you won't flounder at times. Waiting for the wind to
catch your sail. That'll happen too. But if you keep sailing
and keep your hand on the rudder then God will guide you on
the adventure that you're meant to live.
How I
Clarified and Solidified my Mission
A year
ago I started to come out of my lull when I decided that I
needed a mission statement in the form of a Bible passage,
a "life verse."
After
a number of weeks of prayer and reflection I settled on 2
Corinthians 5:20: "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors as
though God were making his appeal through us. We urge you
on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God."
This verse
spoke to my heart's desire. It seemed to be God calling
out to me saying, "Bill this is my plan for you. You are
my ambassador and you're to show my people that I am their
Friend."
Having
this mission statement helps me to stay on course. Now instead
of being determined to be successful I'm determined to be
Christ's ambassador. Whatever I do, as a husband, father,
friend, psychologist, teacher, New Hope Director, even in
my hobbies, I can ask myself, "Am I being Christi's ambassador?
Am I caring for souls in Jesus' name?"
Then I'm
living and caring for others with God's pleasure.
What's
your life mission?
Do you
know the gift and purpose God has given you? How about picking
a verse from the Bible that you deeply want to be true of
you? Reflect on the verses or phrases from the Bible that
have inspired you. See if your heart won't settle on a possibility.
If that's hard for you then do what I did and pray that God
would show you a life verse from the Bible and keep meditating
and waiting for your heart to settle on a verse.
WHEN WE RUN OUR OWN RACE WE FEEL GOD'S PLEASURE
The Apostle
Paul wrote, "You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes
race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes
train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and
fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. I don't know
about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving
it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying
alert and in top condition." (1 Corinthians 9:24-26, The
Message)
Paul's
going for eternal gold. Earlier in this chapter he wrote
that he was compelled to share the good news with others and
that this was his pleasure! (1Cor 9:17-18) He was using his
gift of teaching to serve God and help other people. He was
running his race by being who God meant for him to be.
Chariots
of Fire
To conclude
our seminar I want to share with you my favorite movie scene.
It's from "Chariots of Fire." Eric Liddell is a student at
Oxford and training for the 1924 Olympics in France. His
sister is frustrated with him because she thinks he should
join her on the mission field in China. Eric makes the Olympic
team for Britain and is selected to run the 100-meter race,
but when he found out that the race was on the Sabbath he
refuses to run in order to honor God. Another English runner
so badly wants to see Eric run that he decides to give Eric
his spot in the 400-meter race which was later in the week.
The other runners in the ¼ mile are sure that Eric will run
out of gas since he's just a sprinter.
I
want you to watch how he runs his race. As he runs he's clutching
a note, "He who honors me I will honor says the Lord." He
runs like no has ever run, before or since, laughing and arms
flailing with the joy of the Lord. And in his mind he talks
to his sister, responding to her guilt trip, "Jenny, I believe
that God has made me for a purpose and he made me FAST! And
when I run I feel his pleasure!!"
And all
of England, all the world even, felt God's pleasure with him
because of his character and the way he ran inspired us all!
What a Difference
it Makes to Live and Care in God's Pleasure
Oh to
live and care in God's pleasure like that! That's a picture
of how I want to run my life's race for God and others.
It's what
you and I long for. To come alive with the life of God.
To live with purpose and passion inspired by God. To use
our gifts to bless others.
It's what
other people need from us.
I've found
that when I'm caring and kind to people in need because it's
what I "should do" God isn't much present and people aren't
much blessed. When I serve God out of duty and obligation
it's just as empty for others as for me.
But when
I delight in using my gifts and in sharing God's love, comfort,
and encouragement then I see the smiles and the life change.
When I'm alive with God's pleasure others are inspired and
blessed.
That's
my message to you. Let's live and care for others with God's
pleasure!
NEXT CE CLASS
It'll
be, "Living and Caring with God's Pleasure." I'll be sharing
how I've been re-energized and re-focused by God for my life
after 40.
EXAM
For CE
credit and for learning take the exam for this class, which
is linked below. Then, on your honor, score it yourself,
using the answer key linked below. Send verification to SheilaS@CrystalCathedral.org
so that we can track your progress toward a New Hope CE award
for 2003 (completing 11 out of 11 classes).
To help
you with the counseling role play you'll want to reference:
"Responses to Avoid in New Hope Counseling,"
http://www.newhopenow.org/counselors/case.studies/responses.avoid.html
And "The
A-B-C's of New Hope Counseling Checklist,"
http://www.newhopenow.org/counselors/case.studies/abcs.html
CE Exam