Revised
March 2004
When we encounter
someone who is considering suicide it is scary. Being frightened
is natural when we think that the person might soon be dead.
In addition to death though, there are two other possibilities.
One is helping the person to choose life. If that seems unlikely
to happen, the remaining option is to do what we can to physically
prevent suicide. Although that is a short-term solution, it
sometimes is necessary, and we must be willing to do it.
Physically
Preventing Suicide
When it comes to
physically preventing suicide, there are two issues. (1) How
do I know when I should try to physically prevent suicide? (2)
What should I do if I decide that it is necessary to physically
prevent suicide?
How do I know
when I should try to physically prevent suicide?
If for any reason
you suspect the person may be considering suicide, you should
immediately ask about that possibility. For example, you might
say, "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" If you get a
"Yes" you need to follow up by exploring how and when the person
might do it. For example, you could say, "Have you thought about
how you would kill yourself?" and "Are you intending to kill
yourself today?" (There are many other ways in which you could
explore those possibilities - these are just sample questions.
Also, be sure to reflect each response you get from the person.)
You need to try to physically prevent suicide if the individual
(1) intends to commit suicide today or tomorrow, (2) intends
to commit suicide at some other specific time, or (3) already
has engaged in life-threatening behavior today.
What should I
do if I decide it is necessary to physically prevent suicide?
Call the police.
That's the short answer. Here are some details. If you do not
already have the person's name, address, and telephone number
from the profile information, it is helpful to ask for that
information, however we can use their IP and Internet Provider
information to supply to the police to help them locate the
chatter. (See below for using IP for tracing.)
When exploring the
individual's plan for suicide, you must ask if there are firearms
at the person's location. Once you have the preceding information,
you are now ready to begin the process of calling the police.
(If you can't get the number for the police where the person
lives, one option is to call your local 911 and pass on the
information, or use the person's area code to call the police
in the individual's community.) Call the police. Identify
yourself as a crisis intervention counselor with New Hope Online.
Be prepared to give the phone number for Sara Cruce (714-971-4308)
and the physical address of New Hope Online (12141 Lewis Street,
Garden Grove, CA 92840), as well as your own phone number and
location. Explain that you are online in our private chat
room (or have just been online) with a person who is intending
to commit suicide. Describe the means the person plans to use
and when the person is thinking about doing it - or what life-threatening
action the individual already has taken. Describe the person's
answer when you asked about the presence of firearms. Be responsive
to any questions the dispatcher asks you.
If you cannot contact
the police because you are unable to call and be on the Internet
at the same time, use the Instant Messenger to request assistance
from another counselor.
If the person still
is online, continue interacting with the individual to the best
of your ability. Whether to tell the person about calling the
police is a decision you must make. Use your common sense.
NOTE: You may
use the IP number provided automatically in the "Info" tab to
identify the chatter's Internet Service Provider phone number
(other info listed is not relevant to us). Take the "Host
IP" number from the General Chat Info, go to http://www.arin.net/
and enter the number (with dots separating numbers) in the Whois
window at the top right of the screen. Click on Search
Whois. In most cases, this will give you the service
provider name, address and phone number to give to the police.
The IP is the actual "address" of the personal computer and
only the police can request owner identification from the service
provider.
Helping
a Person to Choose Life
With persons for
whom you have called the police and with suicidal individuals
who do not appear to be in imminent danger (for whom you have
decided not to call the police), you should help the person
to choose life.
Here is one way you
can try to do that. As you explore thoughts and feelings, bring
up the following sequence of topics: (1) the advantages of suicide,
(2) the disadvantages of life, (3) the advantages of life, and
(4) the disadvantages of suicide. Let's consider each one.
+ Suicide - The
advantages of suicide
This should be the
first of the four topics. Reflect responses. Do not argue, debate,
challenge, or persuade.
- Life - The disadvantages
of life
After summarizing
what you already know, explore additional difficulties. Reflect
responses. Do not argue, debate, challenge, or persuade.
+ Life - The advantages
of life
Do not accept "none."
Now that you have been brave enough to explore the person's
pain, you have established rapport and you can afford to be
mildly confrontational. If the person says "none" explore a
favorite food or past enjoyable activities that have the potential
to be enjoyable again.
- Suicide - The
disadvantages of suicide
Bring this up if
the person remains suicidal. Do not accept "none." Disadvantages
to consider can include: the possibility of being seriously
disabled for decades if the suicide fails, the pain associated
with suicide, the possibility of changing one's mind after it
is too late to stop the process (most people do change their
minds).
If the person remains
imminently suicidal, and you have not yet called the police,
call the police now.
If the person no
longer is suicidal, continue with the problem-solving process.
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