New Hope CE Notes, July 2003
William Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Director of New Hope & Psychologist with ChristianSoulCare.com
(714) 971-4213, DrBill@CrystalCathedral.org

WELCOME

What I have to share with you in this class is amazing!  You will be blessed and your counseling will be transformed.  So you made a good decision to study, pray, and practice your counseling with me.  Because you're a student I'm a teacher.  Thank you!

INTRODUCTION

The Holy Spirit is like a Spring of Living Water welling up inside of Christians to satisfy our thirst and overflow to others.  It's in God that we live and move and have our being; He gives us abundant life starting now!  We have his Word, which promises that He will meet all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  And we have his Spirit, as a caring and wise "Counselor" who lives inside our hearts.

How do these wonderful and powerful aspects of the ministry of the Holy Spirit impact our New Hope Counseling?  As a lay counselor how can you invite hurting people to connect with God's presence and purpose for their lives, no matter what their struggle, without preaching or teaching?  That's what we're discussing today.

PRAYER

Dear God, we want more than anything to be Christ's ambassadors.  To experience your friendship in our souls and then to live and verbalize that friendship with people who are hurting or struggling brings us so much joy.  We're so privileged to serve you.  Use us Lord to bring your hope to those who have lost their way.  In Jesus' name we pray.  Amen.

CRAZY MESSAGES

Today we're discussing relying on the Holy Spirit and the messages He gives us.  He is the "Spirit of Truth" and His guidance always makes good sense.  But we get a lot of messages in our world that don't make any sense at all.  Like these:

In a London department store: "Bargain basement upstairs."

In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken."

In an office: "After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."

Outside a secondhand shop: "We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.  Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?"

Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."

Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car."

Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor."

Notice in a field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the filed for free, but the bull charges."

Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."

On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything.  (Please knock hard on the door.  The bell doesn't work.)"

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: "Toilet out of order.  Please use floor below." 

In a Laundromat: "Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out."

WHAT IS SPIRIT-DIRECTED COUNSELING?

When Jesus ascended to heaven he left the Holy Spirit and entrusted his followers to be his witnesses or "ambassadors" who live out God's message that he wants to be our Friend.  Spirit-Directed Counselors are Christ's Ambassadors.

"We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you." (2 Corinthians 5:20, Msg)

Spirit-Directed Counseling begins with Spirit-Directed Counselors!  As Christians we counselors need to be filled, guided, and empowered by the Spirit in our own lives first. 

If as New Hope Counselors we are directed by God's Spirit then not only are we impassioned by God's Spirit, but also we'll see appropriate opportunities to bring God into the foreground of the conversation in a compassionate and helpful way.  The most obvious example of this is by offering prayer, but there are other examples and we'll discuss these later in the seminar and then illustrate them with actual New Hope Online conversation that is a wonderful example of Spirit-Directed New Hope Counseling.

SPIRIT-DIRECTED COUNSELING LEADS TO SPIRITUAL GROWTH

In Dr. Robert A. Schuller's message, "Spiritual Growth for Abundant Living," he told a story about how author Timothy Brown went to visit a young leukemia patient.  He found that the boy lived in a plastic world, surrounded by clear plastic sheets, totally isolated from everyone else to try to protect him from germs and disease.   This is because leukemia destroys your immune system so that even a simple cold could kill you. 

So he went to visit this child.  He could see him and talk to him, but he couldn't touch the boy except with the plastic gloves that reached inside the plastic tent.  And the boy couldn't leave his protective world.  Timothy Brown asked the child how he was doing and he offered an amazing response, "Life isn't like a VCR.  You can't fast forward past the bad parts."  And this boy was certainly in a bad, painful part of life and yet he concluded, "And God is in every frame."

God used the pain and struggle of this boy's leukemia to develop in him a deep faith and a blessed intimacy that few Christians have experienced.  This is the purpose of all the struggles that we go through in life.  It's the purpose of the hurts and stresses that New Hope callers and chatters go through: To draw them closer to Jesus and lead them on the path of spiritual growth.

SPIRIT-DIRECTED COUNSELORS ARE AMBASSADORS

Let's discuss what it means to be Christ's ambassadors as counselors.  Ambassadors are representatives or mediators.  God's care and guidance are expressed through us, imperfect as we are.  It's amazing that God would use us, but he does! 

As Christ's Ambassadors in counseling we want to bring all of God into people's souls.  One way we do that is to understand the relationship between three triangles.  Each triangle depicts a three-way relationship.

   

Trinity Triangle.  We start with God, who is three-in-one.  God the Father, Jesus the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit are three and yet one, distinct and also unified in a perfectly intimate relationship.  In 2 Corinthians 13:14 Paul prays that we'd know the Father's love, Jesus' grace, and the Spirit's communion.  These are three powerful roles that God wants to play in our lives.

Counseling Triangle.  When Jesus ascended into heaven he left his Spirit.  Together the Holy Spirit and the Christian Counselor (Christ's Ambassador) reveal this Triune God and what He is like in to people in Spirit-directed counseling.  (Of course, there are other ways that we come to know God like through His Word, the sacraments, and nature.)  People need ambassadors because God's love may be difficult to experience (1 Corinthians 13:12), especially for those who have been abused or neglected as children.  After all, the Holy Spirit is invisible and Jesus is someone we read about in the Bible.  People who love God will show God's love to others (1 John 4:12).  It's the circle of life, that is the heart of Jesus' Greatest Commandment that we love God and that we love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).  We love the God who loves us, first as children dependent on parents or as people in need with one of Christ's Ambassadors, and as we internalize love we pass it on.  I'll elaborate.

Soul Triangle.  In Spirit-directed counseling the process works to bring positive changes to the soul of the client/caller/chatter.  Specifically, I think there are three building blocks of the soul that need attention: people's image or perception/experience of God, their internalized parent or conscience that guides them, and their self-image or how they feel and believe about their "self" (needs, vulnerabilities, personality, gifts, values, etc.). 

If New Hope callers or chatters trust and receive the counselor as being gracious then it helps them to understand God's grace and can work to heal harshness or abusiveness in the ways that they parent (guide or talk to) themselves so that they begin to believe that they are worthwhile and to be esteemed.  The Trinity has entered the person's soul at a deeper level.

When this kind of healing and growth happen in people's souls positive changes readily take place in their lives and relationships with people and God.

WORK WITH THE SPIRIT AND THE CALLER TO HELP THE CALLER

Spirit-Directed Counselors are skilled to work with people to help them so that counselor and caller together rely on the Holy Spirit (Matthew 18:20) as our "Counselor," "Comforter," and "Friend" (John 14:16-17, 16:7-8, Msg & NIV).  This is the power of a helping relationship.  Psychologist's call it the establishing of a "therapeutic alliance."  It is the difference maker.  And if you think about it, you know this is true.  As a New Hope Counselor you've talked to some people who trust you, believe that God can use their talking with you can help them, show you what they need, and appreciate your efforts.  These people receive some help because they work with you and God to get the help they need.  Other people don't trust you, deny their needs, disbelieve that God or counseling will help them, complain that you're help isn't enough, and spoil the good care you show them.  They don't work with you and God to get help and so they aren't helped.

So as counselors we need to focus on facilitating a positive, helping relationship.  This means tuning into the caller/chatter, ourselves, and God.  The most effective counselors not only listen to the person they're helping, but also to their own feelings/sense and to the Holy Spirit.  The feelings you're having while you're trying to help someone may tell you something about what is actually going on between the caller/chatter and you.  God is always speaking to us and is concerned for the caller/chatter so try to listen to what He's saying.  That doesn't mean you should offer prophetic utterances!  Just try to sense where the Spirit is leading the conversation and follow.

Here's a chart that identifies the roles of the Holy Spirit, counselor, and caller/chatter in the counseling process.

Spirit, Counselor, & Caller Work Together to Help Caller/Chatter

Holy Spirit	Counselor	Caller/Chatter
Comfort	Active Listening	Trust
Guidance	Brainstorm Action Steps	Believe
Power	Close in Prayer	Act

THE ROLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Holy Spirit is a Comforting Dove. What is the Holy Spirit like?  One way to understand Him is that He is like a dove.  The dove has been the symbol of God's peace with man ever since Noah released a dove from the ark and it returned with a leafy twig to show that the flood waters had receded and it was safe for he and his family and all the animals to come out.  Then when Jesus was baptized the Holy Spirit descended and lighted on him in the form of a dove for all to see.

Doves are peaceful, gentle creatures.  They don't hunt other animals, but eat vegetation and insects.  They mate for life and together, father and mother build the nest, lay on the eggs to keep them warm, and care for their young. 

Doves are admired as being beautiful and pure, especially white doves.  I think that doves are most known for their soothing voices.  You''ve probably heard the coo of a dove and felt soothed and relaxed by it. 

The dove says to our hearts: "God is approachable!  He wants to be our Friend."

I shared these points about the dove in a discussion thread on the Crystal Cathedral's OneCommunity message board and a user I'll call "Grace" shared this story:

"It's funny you should bring up doves as a subject. I had been troubled recently by past sins and bad decisions and so frequently I will go for a walk to think and clear my thoughts and talk to God. I had done this one day this spring, and in the midst of my thoughts, I heard a dove nearby. I looked up and a little ahead of me were two doves sitting on a telephone wire. Every couple of blocks these doves or maybe just other doves would appear along the way during that walk. I know this sounds strange, but I really felt as if God were walking along with me. Ever since than, when I go out for walks around here, one or two doves will lit somewhere along the way. I don't know if it's coincidence or not, but I tend to believe it's not and that God was sending these doves to remind me of His care."

Do you believe that the Holy Spirit spoke to this woman through those doves?  Would God offer His forgiveness and grace to her through the cooing of doves?  I believe so!

The Holy Spirit is our Comforting Friend.  He is our "Friend" and "Comforter" who comes to us, remains with us, stays inside us, and reminds us of Jesus' words (John 14:16-17, 26, 16:7-8, Msg & NIV, 1 Corinthians 3:16).

This past weekend my ten-year old daughter Jenny was baptized.  She and I had studied what the Bible teaches about being baptized and took a class at church on it so she knew what she was doing.  She said she wanted to be baptized to be a witness for Jesus, to show her family and friends (including her nonchristian friends from public school) that she believed in Jesus.  So we planned a special service for her.  She invited 56 people to our house!  And sent them all an invitation with her testimony on it.  The invitation alone was so powerful that her eight year old cousin prayed to become a Christian after reading it!

Her mother and I, along with a pastor friend of ours, put together her service.  We gathered every one for people to affirm her faith.  The pastor explained the meaning of baptism, people laid hands on her and prayed for her, she said why she wanted to be baptized, and her pastor and I baptized her in our backyard jacuzzi with these words, "Jenny, since God loves you and you want to follow Jesus we baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."  Then all 56 people ate the food that Jenny's mother prepared.

Afterward, I asked Jenny what it felt like to be baptized.  This is so precious.  Listen to this.  She said, "Daddy, it was so special.  It was like laying back into soft, calming kitten fur!"

That's what the Holy Spirit is like: Soft, calming kitten fur.

The Bible teaches us many things about the comfort of the Spirit.  He is always expressing our deepest concerns to God, our wordless sighs and aching groans, seeking for every detail of our lives to be worked into something good (Romans 8:26-28, Msg).

He reminds us that the deepest cry of our hearts is "Abba Father!  Daddy God I need you!" (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6).

Jesus said to the promiscuous woman at the well that the Holy Spirit wants to be a spring of living water filling your soul to overflowing with God's abundant life and joy (John 7:37-39, Acts 13:52, Ephesians 5:18, John 10:10).

He gives our souls love, joy, peace and all the fruits of the Spirit that we hunger for (Galatians 5:22-23).  This fruit of the Spirit is "soul food" for our hungry souls, food for us to eat and to share with others.

The Holy Spirit is our Guide.  He is the "Spirit of Truth" who guides us into all truth (John 14:17, 15:26, 16:13, 1 John 4:6).

A story is told about a farmer who, while trying to decide on his future, saw a cloud formation in the sky which formed the letters "P" and "C." He interpreted this sign to mean "Preach Christ."

He became a preacher, but because he lacked the God-given talents and the necessary spiritual gifts, he failed. He concluded that the letters must have stood for "Plow Corn." So he returned to his great work of feeding a nation.

The Spirit is always speaking to us.  He speaks in many ways (Psalm 119:105, Proverbs 1, Isaiah 30:21, Romans 1:20, 2 Corinthians 5:20).

We just need to listen.
A man prayed, "God, speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang.
But, the man did not hear.
The man shouted "God, speak to me!"
And, the thunder rolled across the sky.
But, the man did not listen.
The man complained, "God, it's dark.  Let me see you"
And a star shone brightly.
But, the man did not notice.
Then the man demanded, "God show me a miracle!"
And, a child was born in his extended family.
But, the man did not pay special attention.
The man cried out, "God I'm lonely.  Don't you care?"
And a friend offered a listening ear.
But the man didn't want to talk.
So, the man sobbed in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here or I can't go on with living!"
So God reached down and touched the man.
But, the man brushed off the butterfly and walked away depressed.

How easily we, like this man, can miss God's message just because it doesn't come when or how we think it should. 

The Bible has much to say about how the Spirit wants to guide us. 

The Holy Spirit empowers us to live as glorious children of God.  He is working to transform us to be like Jesus with ever-increasing glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet in the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked. "That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbor. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth - we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was. (Anthony DeMello, "A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul")

The Bible teaches us again and again about the Spirit's power to help us.  The Holy Spirit lives in believers, giving us resurrection power and abundant life (John 6:63, Romans 8:11, 2 Corinthinas 3:6, 1 Peter 3:18).

God gives us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).

He empowers us to be His witnesses (Acts 1:8).

The Holy Spirit's ministry to us is like "Bagger Vance."  Have you seen the movie called "The Legend of Bagger Vance?"

Juno was a local golf hero in Savannah, Georgia whose promising future as a young golf star and his marriage to a local woman were shot down on the battlefields of World War I.  After the war he lives as a bum, drinking, smoking, and playing cards with the town riff raff.  The leaders of Savannah want to restore pride and prosperity in their Southern town by hosting a golf tournament featuring the great Bobby Jones and Walter Haggin.  A boy named Hardy Grieves suggests that local hero "Captain Juno" could represent Savannah.  Juno resists the offer, but eventually changes his mind when he's visited by a mysterious man called "Bagger Vance," who becomes his caddie.

Near the end of the golf match Juno has fallen three strokes behind and he's just hit a tee shot into the woods.  His ball is so far into the dark forest that he can't even see the hole.  Suddenly, he starts having frightening flashbacks of machine gun fire and people dying.  He's trembling, sweating, and crying.  He's about to pick up the ball and give up when Bagger Vance talks to him and gets him to lay down his burden from the war and previous failures and rejections:

"What I'm talking about is a game that can't be won, only played. Remember (your previous successes).  Just a moment ago.  Come on out of the shadows Juno.  Time for you to chose.  You can.  You're not alone.  I'm right here with you.  I've been here all along.  Now play the game you were meant to play.  The one that was given to you when you came into this world. You ready?  C'mon.  Take your stance.  Strike that ball Juno.  Don't hold anything back.  Give it everything you've got.  Now is the time.  Let yourself remember.  Remember your swing.  That's right Juno.  Settle yourself.  Let's go.  Now is the time."

Juno hits a perfect shot through a narrow, misty opening in the woods and the ball lands a few feet from the hole.  He says, "Hey Bagger, you're one hell of a caddie!"

Bagger Vance replies,  "We aint done yet!" 

Indeed, Juno goes on to win the match and reclaim his life.

That's a picture of how the Holy Spirit (and Christ's Ambassadors as they rely on Him) can work in someone's life.  God is right there to comfort us in pain, to guide us in the dark, and to empower us to play the game that we were meant to play.  God is there to help us to regain our swings, to use our personality, caring, and gifts to serve Him.  

THE ROLE OF THE COUNSELOR

Let's look at how the ministry of the Holy Spirit relates to the A-B-C's of New Hope Counseling.

Active Listening.  We listen to care for and to learn about people (Proverbs 1:5, 18:13, James 1:19).  To listen is to explore the thoughts and feelings, struggles and hurts, challenges and choices that people need help with.

Our listening needs to be active.  So we verbalize compassion for people (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:12, 1 Peter 3:8) with summary statements and feeling reflections.

And we understand and draw out the purposes of people's hearts (Proverbs 20:5) with open questions that probe deeper, connecting to caller's needs for God's LIFE: "What do you most want to see changed in your life?" 

Jesus said that we're to be the "salt of the earth," bringing out God-flavors in people's lives by inspiring their thirst for God and preserving God's influence in their lives (Matthew 5:13, Msg).

My parents live on five acres 40 miles northwest of Chicago and in their yard they put out a salt block.  That probably seems strange to you.  Why would they do that?  Because it attracts the deer.  The deer lick the salt block and then go drink from the creek nearby.  And my parents enjoy seeing the deer!

As New Hope Counselors we're to be like the salt blocks.  We want for our caring to get callers to be more thirsty for God and His care so that they go to the stream of living water.  Salty counselors will consider if it's appropriate to ask questions like, "What role does God play in your life with these issues?"

Brainstorm an Action Step.  As counselors we want to "restore" struggling people by helping them to mobilize their own problem-solving resources and develop a plan of action so that they can "take pride" in themselves and learn to "carry their own load" (Galatians 6:1-5).

Ken France has three tried and true open questions that are effective for inviting people to consider alternatives for dealing with their situation.  I think of this brainstorming process as like fishing.  The counselor fishes for a good idea from the caller or chatter, a positive action step that they want to take.  Here are Dr. France's questions: "What have you tried in the past?"  "What have you thought about trying?"  "What other possibilities come to mind?" 

Of course, the goal of this brainstorming process is for the caller or chatter to develop a plan of action.  Dr. France teaches that a good plan is negotiated (between caller/chatter and counselor, focused in the present (can act on it today or tomorrow), concrete (specific), and realistic for the person to do.

What's the significance of New Hope Counselors brainstorming an action step with a caller or chatter?  I believe that we can be what Jesus called the "light of the world."  We can bring out the "God-colors" in people's lives, illuminating the path to a life that is loving and God-honoring (Matthew 5:14, Msg). 

Sometimes, it's appropriate when fishing for a positive action step to bring awareness of the Holy Spirit's role into the foreground of the counseling with a question like one of these: "I wonder how you've sensed God guiding you with this?"  "What step does God seem to be leading you to consider?"

People who don't brainstorm positive action steps need boundaries.  Here are two brief examples.  With people who haven't been making good and holy decisions gently connect the harmful choices they've sown with the painful consequences they've reaped (Galatians 6:7-9).  For instance, to someone who broke up with a lover it might be appropriate to say, "Maybe you regret opening your heart and your body to him as a lover without the commitment and protection of marriage."  (For more information on this see my class, "Counseling and Morality.")

With abusive people and stuck people who won't put energy into making positive decisions you need to "speak the truth in love" to encourage them to grow in maturity (Ephesians 4:15).  For instance to the stuck person you might say, "I understand that you've been frustrated about this situation for some time now and yet you can't seem to get yourself to take action to change things."  (For more information on this see my class, "Setting Boundaries with Difficult People.")

Close with Prayer

This is the most obvious point for New Hope Counseling to be Spirit-Directed.  While New Hope is not a prayer line per say, but a crisis counseling line, we do offer prayer as a resource unless we believe it'd be inappropriate at that time.

It's important that you believe that when you pray with someone in Jesus' name God is present (Matthew 18:20).  Even if the other person is not a Christian you are and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19).  And your prayer as a Christian is effective and healing (James 5:16).  Jesus said that God answers believing prayer (Matthew 21:22).

When you pray do so to communicate God's caring for people's needs, hurts, and struggles (which you learned about in your active listening) and to affirm God's loving concern (Matthew 6:9-13, Ephesians 3:14-21).  And pray for God to strengthen people to carry out His good plan, perhaps the one the two of you brainstormed (Philippians 4:13, Colossians 1:11, 1 Thessalonians 3:13).

A good way to offer prayer to a caller or chatter and to wind down a conversation is to simply say, "Would you like me to pray for you before we say goodbye?"  An alternative is to offer prayer earlier in the conversation and to solicit input from the caller/chatter with a question like this, "Maybe you'd like us to pray about this.  How would you like God to help you with your concerns?"

Prayer can be continuous.  Ideally, we pray continually for people we help (Colossians 1:3, 1 Thessalonians 5:17).  What does this mean?  I think it means four things: (1) Practice the presence of God, like Brother Lawrence doing his kitchen work be in a spirit of prayer as you help someone; (2) make your caring help a prayer; (3) at times pray silently for the caller/chatter as you listen; (4) be prepared to offer prayer as discussed above.

THE ROLE OF THE CALLER/CHATTER

Since each of us are not only helpers, but people who need help at times, this brief section is addressed not only to callers/chatters, but to all of us.

Trust

We need to ask and keep asking God for what we need to receive the Holy Spirit and God's good gifts (Matthew 7:7-11, Luke 11:9-13).  Jesus asked the two blind men at side of road, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:29-34).  In the Parable of the Persistent Widow the widow needs to ask more than once for what she needs and prayer is like this, not because God is reluctant, but because we need to grow through the process of asking and waiting (Luke 18:1-8).

Yesterday, when I finished seeing my last client's psychotherapy session I called home before I left.  It takes me less than five minutes to get home from my counseling office, but I always call anyway.  Briana answered and I told her that I was on my way home and I had a hug waiting for her.  When I walked in the door she was waiting for me on the couch and she shouted out, "433 seconds!"  "What do mean?" I asked with bewilderment.  "It took you 433 seconds to get home" she exclaimed with a smile as she ran up into my arms for a hug.

That's how we ought to be with God.  "As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul longs for you O God," sang the Psalmist (Psalm 42:1).  It's through child-like dependence and trust is the way to enter God's kingdom (Matthew 18:1-5). 

We need to make every effort to enter God's rest, to receive His care, to utilize His help (Hebrews 4:11).

Believe

We need to believe in order to see God work in our lives (Blind man at Pool of Siloam: John 9:35-41).  We need to work with God to heal and grow by "working out" the salvation that God's "works in" us to desire and to act on (Philippians 2:12-13, Colossians 1:29).  God gives wisdom to those who seek it in faith (Proverbs 1-2, James 1:5-8).

Act

To see God work in our lives we need to act (Invalid at the Sheep Gate Pool: John 5:1-14).  To live in the abundant life that God intends we need to follow where the Spirit leads one step at a time (Galatians 5:25-26, 1 Thessalonians 5:17).

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