New Hope
Role Plays with Dr. Ken France
Dr. Bill
Gaultiere
(714) 971-4213
Dr.
Ken France is one of our New Hope Counselor Mentors who offers
feedback to New Hope Counselors. Ken is a Psychologist and has
been teaching basic counseling to college students for many
years. He is very insightful and is skilled at using role plays
to teach active listening skills.
In
his feedback to New Hope counselors he's caught some of us getting
off track from our active listening by doing things like:
- Giving
advice. (Even if they accept it to please you, they aren't
likely to follow it.) It's best if they come up with their
own ideas and you reinforce these. Any options you suggest
should be offered tentatively and only after you've spent
sufficient time understanding and connecting.
- Asking
closed-ended questions (that can be answered with a "yes"
or a "no"). Better to draw out people's feelings
with open questions like, "How do you feel about that?"
- Directing
the conversation away from the caller's/chatter's primary
need.
Give people the opportunity to verbalize their struggle and
their feelings. The only times to direct a counseling call
are: (1) if callers/chatters are lost then direct then to
expressing their feelings, (2) if callers/chatter are being
inappropriate in some way and you need to set boundaries.
- Using
extremely negative or passive words like "helpless,"
"hopeless," and "out of control" in our
feeling reflections. Even if that's what they're feeling we
want to be careful about reinforcing this.
- Using
redundant words/phrases
when reflecting feelings. If you've already identified that
someone feels "discouraged" then use slightly different
words (like "depressed" or "overwhelmed")
in subsequent responses to encourage further exploration.
Here
are two role plays in which the counselor sticks to active listening.
Notice how smooth the conversations are and the good connecting
that's happening! For readability, the caller's dialogue is
in italics, counselor in normal, and Ken's in CAPS.
Role
Play #1:
Chatter:
Three months ago my wife left me. She said that she no longer
loved me and that she did not want to be married. She is now
with another man. We have a precious 17 month old son, Isaac,
who unless God intervenes will not have the benefit of growing
up with his mommy and daddy together. I love Nicole will all
that I have and I am trying to forgive her. I know that I can
and pray that God will do whatever it takes to bring her back
to Himself and then back to me. I am battling depression also
Counselor:
Welcome to New Hope. I understand you are going through
a very traumatic time.
ACCURATE
REFLECTION
Chatter:
Yes, I am very lonely but I do have a lot of Christian friends
who are helping me. There are times that the pain is almost
unbearable
Counselor:
So you are hurting very much.
GOOD FEELING
REFLECTION
Chatter:
I know that God does not allow suffering without a purpose
but He seems so silent right now and I feel my frustation building
up because He does not seem to be doing anything
Counselor:
It sounds like you are feeling that God is leaving you to struggle
alone.
EXCELLENT
REFLECTION OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
Chatter:
I do not want to lose hope. I want to have my family restored
but more than that I want to be changed into the man that God
designed me to be
Counselor:
You want to be a better man...
GOOD REFLECTION,
NICE POSITIVE FOCUS
Chatter:
I am diligently reading the Scriptures and devoting myself
to prayer. I am also going to a professional counselor to deal
with some issues of my past
Counselor:
Tell me what you want God to change...
EXCELLENT
FORWARD FOCUSING PROBE
Chatter:
I don't want to feel so much pain. I am also trying each
day to give all my feeling and pain to the Lord and trusting
that He is dealing with both Nicole and I. I am also trying
to concentrate on being the best daddy I can be for Isaac but
my heart breaks for him
Counselor:
Please tell me more about what issues you talked to your counselor
about.
OK PROBE
Chatter:
I am trying not to get so caught up in my feelings and let go
of the past and get on with my life but at the same time remain
hopeful that God will do a miracle in this otherwise hopeless
and impossible situation
Counselor:
So you are trying to stay focused on the present and want to
deal with that now...
VERY GOOD
REFLECTION
VERY NICELY
DONE. LET'S STOP ROLE PLAYING. GIVE ME A MINUTE
AND I WILL GO BACK AND ADD COMMENTS.
Counselor: Ok, thanks... I look forward to the comments!
Role
Play #2:
Chatter:
How can I make myself be happy and normal? I need help getting
out of this depression
Counselor:
Welcome to New Hope! It sounds like you feel like you don't
fit in...
GOOD REFLECTION
Chatter:
Yes definately
Counselor:
Tell me how you would like to be more like others...
GOOD PROBE
Chatter:
I want to be happy and I want people to like me for being
me. I'm tired of people talking about me when they don't know
me.
Counselor:
I sense that you are feeling misunderstood.
VERY GOOD
REFLECTION
Chatter:
I've been a loner all my life
Counselor:
It sounds like you always feel like you are on the outside looking
in.
NICELY PHRASED
REFLECTION
Chatter:
My husband loves me very much I know there are people who
like me but I never really know for sure if they like me. There
is a little voice telling i'm not worth it.
Counelor:
Something inside you is making you doubt that you are capable
of being loved.
GOOD REFLECTION
Chatter:
I allow myself to get close then some bad happens
Counselor:
That must make you fearful of having strong feelings for others.
GOOD REFLECTION.
THOUGH IT'S BETTER NOT TO USE THE PHRASE "MAKES YOU,"
AS IT IMPLIES THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW THE CHATTER
FEELS.
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