New Hope
Continuing Education, September 2006 (Edited May 2007)
William
Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Intro
As a Psychologist
I’m in the business of helping people make changes. And
that’s also our ministry as New Hope Counselors. Of
course, change starts with the helper! Are you growing
personally? Would you like to understand better how
you can heal or learn or grow – and then help others? I’m
going to share with you what’s helping me and show
you how you can further your own growth and become more helpful
to others.
Largely
based on what I’ve learned from Renovation of the
Heart by Dallas Willard (the book that’s helped
me more than any besides the Bible) we’re going to
learn:
- The
three life purposes that make real inward change possible
- The
six parts of us that need to change: heart, mind (thoughts
and feelings), body, social connections, and soul
- The
three critical steps to learn anything: vision, intention,
means
- The “Golden
Triangle of Spiritual Formation”: accepting everyday
problems, interacting with God’s Spirit, and practicing
spiritual disciplines
I hope
that as a result of this class that with God’s help
you will want to pick one personal struggle to overcome or
one virtue to grow in and then develop a basic plan for how
you can grow with God’s help in that area.
Do you
want to learn with me? You’ll need to set aside
some time and energy to study these notes (it’s a lot
of material!) and then identify something to pray about and
work on with God’s help.
IS REAL
CHANGE POSSIBLE?
We have
to start with our beliefs. What do you think, can a
person make real and lasting character changes? For
instance, can you and I live lives that look more and more
like the Apostle Paul’s – continually thinking
on God’s grace, increasingly devoted to serving the
Lord, rejoicing in God’s goodness in the midst of trials
and suffering, delighting to bless others (even those that
curse us!), ready to sacrifice anything for the Lord?
Unfortunately,
if the truth be told, many of us don’t believe that
the God-centered and God-empowered life described in the
New Testament could be lived out substantially by me today. I’m
afraid that most Christians today don’t think of themselves
as being Jesus’ apprentices in life. But all
the promises of the New Testament are addressed to disciples
(students) of Jesus. The abundant life of Christ comes
to those who in the midst of whatever they are doing
at the moment are actively seeking to learn from Jesus how
to do what they’re doing with him and for him from
their hearts, yielded to him as King.
I want
to live with and for Christ and I’m learning to do
so more and more. I know people living this way in
the kingdom of the heavens. I’ve helped people
grow into this life with God. So I truly believe that
you and I can change, that we can grow to become more and
more like Jesus in our character – our inner thoughts
and desires and how we live those out in our relationships,
work, and all that we say and do.
3 PRIORITIES
TO LIVE BY
To live
significant, fulfilling, growing, and supernatural lives
we need to realize that we are Christ’s Ambassadors and
we are meant to live in community with one another in God’s
Kingdom according to three interrelated, God-ordained priorities:
worship, growth, and service. They go together; you
can’t do one truly without also doing the other two. This
theme is repeated throughout the Bible.
As just
one example, consider Paul’s words to the Colossians
which key on how they’re to grow and change, while
showing this to be related to their worship and service:
“And
now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you
must continue to live in obedience to him. Let your
roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him,
so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth
you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving
for all he has done” (Colossians 2:6-7, NLT).
From this
Scripture passage here are the three priorities for us as
a community:
- Worship – Upward
Journey: Praise Christ Jesus as Lord (admiring his
character) and thank him for all the blessings he has given
you. And praise and thank Jesus’ Father and
Spirit – worship the community of Three divine persons
and the One Lord they are.
- Growth – Inward
Journey: True life for us is only in knowing (relating
interactively and intimately) with Christ. To grow
up spiritually we as the body of Christ in community need
to grow down like a plant, sinking roots down into
the rich soil of Christ to draw up nourishment from the
truth about him and his goodness to us. This is the
most important thing for us to think about!
- Serve – Outward
Journey: Ministry is overflowing to others in our
neighborhood (the people near us) and beyond with the goodness
of God that we’re grateful for. Ministry is
not something we get ourselves to do because we should – it’s
the joyful privilege of loving others as God has first
loved us. It’s not something we do someday “over
there” – it’s extending Christ’s
compassion to the people right around us today.
Notice
that the three purposes move from a focus on God (worship/upward),
to self (growth/inward), to others (serve/outward). This
is the Biblical way as Jesus taught us in his Greatest Commandment: “You
shall love the Lord your God… and your neighbor as
your self.”
Also, realize
that each priority is inherently relational and imbedded
in community: we worship God who is a community of love and
glory, we grow together in the community of the body of Christ,
and we serve others in our neighborhood and world.
Consider
that the holy trilogy of virtues – faith, hope, and
love – also fit in this worship-grow-serve paradigm. Faith
focuses our vision on appreciating and connecting with God
in his kingdom, hope is our anticipation of the good that
God brings to us personally and as a community, and love
is best seen in generous expressions of kindness to others
in our fellowship, neighborhood, and world.
GOD CHANGES
US FROM THE INSIDE OUT
In our
world today you can have wrinkles removed, breasts enlarged,
eye color changed, and a host of other cosmetic enhancements. You
can buy a new car or something else you want on credit. You
can hire an image consultant to project a new you. We
want the ideal spouse, kids, job, house, church, or… We
are obsessed with getting what we want and think that if
we change the external things in our lives then we’ll
be better and happier.
We don’t
change who we really are on the inside (or become truly happier)
by making these external changes. In the Bible God
teaches us that we change our life by changing our hearts (or
spirit) on the inside. As we learn to walk by faith
and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), trusting in the One
who is unseen (Hebrews 11:27), then he changes us inside
out – first he transforms our hearts and then our lives.
Consider
the statement: God spiritually forms us from the outside
in so that we’re holy, healthy, and happy from the
inside out. This theme also is repeated throughout
the Bible, as these verses from The Message paraphrase
demonstrate:
“You
know me inside and out… Examine me, GOD, from head
to foot, order your battery of tests. Make sure I'm fit inside
and out… What you're after is truth from the inside
out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life… I'm
happy from the inside out, and from the outside in, I'm firmly
formed…” (Psalm 139:15, 26:2, 51:6, 16:9; all
MSG).
“[Jesus’]
appearance changed from the inside out, right before their
eyes. Sunlight poured from his face. His clothes were filled
with light” (Matthew 17:2, MSG).
“[Jesus’]
baptism - a holy baptism by the Holy Spirit - will change
you from the inside out” (Mark 1:8b, MSG).
“Gabriel
greeted [Mary]: Good morning! You're beautiful with God's
beauty, Beautiful inside and out! God be with you” (Luke
1:28, MSG).
“Fix
your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside
out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and
quickly respond to it” (Romans 12:2b, MSG).
“So
we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the
outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us,
on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes
by without his unfolding grace” (2 Corinthians 4:16,
MSG).
“Believing-prayer
will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if
you've sinned, you'll be forgiven - healed inside and out” (James
5:16, MSG).
ASPECTS
OF HUMAN NATURE
As Christians
we want to become more like Christ and to help others to
do the same. To be spiritually formed in our inner
character so that more and more we naturally and routinely reflect
the image of Jesus in our behavior we need to learn to interact
with him as our Lord and Savior in each part of our self – heart/spirit/will,
thoughts, feelings, body, social, and soul – trusting
in his grace and truth as they are manifested to us by his
Word and his Spirit. These six interdependent aspects
of human nature that have been damaged by sin and must be
renovated – gloriously transformed! – as we put
our trust in God in our day-to-day lives. To make a
change in our character we must change in each of the six
areas.
Jesus addresses
all the dimensions of the person together in The Greatest
Commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart [inner
core, will or spirit] and with all your soul [whole
being] and with all your mind [thoughts and feelings]
and with all your strength [body’s natural abilities]… Love
your neighbor [social connection] as yourself” (Mark
12:30-31).
Of course,
each of us operate in life as a unified whole and the whole
is greater than the sum of the parts, but nonetheless it
is helpful to understand each of these aspects of our nature
and how they interrelate and play a distinct role in offering
ourselves to love and serve the Lord. Indeed, the Scripture
has a lot to say about each of these parts of our makeup
and what it says will make a lot more sense as you clearly
understand the terms used and their function! This
is worth serious study and careful reflection. For
each dimension of the person I’ve included a number
of Scriptures (from the NIV unless otherwise indicated) to
help us understand its function in human character.
Using a
Biblical understanding and terminology Dallas Willard puts
the following six aspects of human nature in six rings of
a circle with the heart being the innermost circle and the
other dimensions being rings that go out from there all the
way to the soul, the most comprehensive term for a person
and thus the outside ring in the circle diagram (see Renovation
of the Heart, p. 38).
Yield
your heart (will, spirit, choices, intentions, roots)
to God
In Biblical
terms the human heart is the same as our spirit and in practical
terms it is our will. The heart is the eternal
core of our being and the precious part of us that distinguishes
us as creatures made in God’s image; only God and human
beings have a spirit. It is only with our heart that
we can genuinely love and worship and this is why our praise
and service mean nothing to God if they don’t come
from our heart.
An important
clarification is that the heart, as the Bible speaks of it,
is not our feelings, but our power to choose a course
of action. Spirit is unbodily personal power – the
power we have in life to choose, take initiative, and express
creativity. God has created us to take dominion with
him and for him in his kingdom, to be creative under him
(Genesis 1).
It is in
the heart (spirit or will) that real change must begin. God
sends his Word and Spirit to us and we respond by putting
our faith (trust and confidence, leaning the whole weight
of our being) in Christ. As we connect with Christ
we come alive with his abundant, eternal, God-kind of life.
Our hearts
can be good or bad. The proud heart is hard and unreceptive
to God – because it hasn’t trusted in Christ
it is dead. The healthy heart is soft soil that is
receptive to God as the good soil is to seed: listening,
trusting, and responding to his initiative by sprouting
with loving obedience. The spirit that trusts God and
is brought to life through faith in Christ by God’s
Spirit, is well-directed in spiritual fervor, rejoicing to
overflow with love for God and others, including strangers
and enemies.
We can
think of our “spiritual formation” in Christ
as interacting with God in the renovation of our heart or
the forming of our will. But in the situations of our
lives we don’t have direct access to our heart, but
must use our minds (thoughts and feelings) to get a hold
of our will, make an intention to engage with God and his
kingdom, and put our choice into motion/action.
“I
will praise the Lord who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs
me” (Psalm 16:7).
“Take heart and
wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14).
“Create
in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within
me… Grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me… The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm
51:10, 12).
“God
is the strength of my heart” (Psalm 73:26).
“When
my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know
my way” (Psalm 142:3).
“Trust
in the LORD with all your heart” (Proverbs 3:5).
“Above
all else, guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23).
“The
lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it
searches out his inmost being” (Proverbs 20:27).
“Pride
goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a
fall. Better to be lowly in spirit” (Proverbs
16:18-19).
“Follow
the ways of your heart” (Ecclesiastes 11:9).
“The heart is
deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can
understand it? I the Lord search the heart and
examine the mind to reward a man according to his conduct” (Jeremiah
17:9-10).
“You
will…find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart” (Jeremiah
29:13, NKJV).
“I
will… give you a new heart and a desire to
be faithful” (Ezekiel 36:26).
“I'll
give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.
I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace
it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll
put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what
I tell you and live by my commands” (Ezekiel 36:26-27,
MSG).
“The
LORD… forms the spirit of man within” (Zechariah
12:1).
“Blessed
are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom
of heaven” (Matthew 5:3).
“For
out of the heart come evil…” (Matthew
15:9).
“The
Spirit gives birth to spirit” (John 3:6).
“God
is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and
in truth” (John 4:24).
“[Jesus
said] ‘The words I have spoken to you are spirit and
they are life’” (John 6:63).
“He
breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’” (John
20:22).
“The
conscience is like a law written in the human heart” (Romans
2:15, CEV).
“He
has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with
his love” (Romans 5:5, NLT).
“But
if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet
your spirit is alive because of righteousness” (Romans
8:10).
“The
Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are
God's children” (Romans 8:16).
“Never
be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,
serving the Lord” (Romans 12:11).
“May… God… give
you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow
Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5).
“He
who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit” (1
Corinthians 6:17).
“Follow
the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts” (1
Corinthians 14:1).
“Stand
firm then…with the breastplate of righteousness
in place” (Ephesians 6:14).
“Plant
your roots in Christ” (Colossians 2:7, CEV).
“Set
your hearts on things above” (Colossians 3:1).
Set your mind on
God
Mind – Thoughts (think,
envision, remember, reason, imagine, study, believe):
Transformation
in Christ-likeness begins when the Word and the Spirit enter
our hearts through our minds. The heart (will
or spirit) works off of the mind; we access our heart and
then direct it (make choices) by focusing our thoughts and
inclining our feelings (thoughts and feelings are
both part of the mind). All the aspects of human nature
are most readily influenced by what we do with our thoughts. This
is our first freedom!
Our mind
is bigger than our brain; it’s more than matter, as
it also encompasses experience. Our minds can
interact with visible and invisible reality. When we
believe something it’s not just professing something
as the “right answer”, but its knowing things
as a reality, as actually true.
With our
minds we can conceive of things we have not yet experienced,
but need to or want to. Our minds have enormous untapped
power (like the vast part of an iceberg that’s underwater,
most of the mind is unconscious) to think on things. For
instance, we can think on one thing while doing another and
we can learn to do something by habit without thinking about
it consciously. This is the basis of practicing the
presence of God. We can stay in increasing conscious
contact with God and his goodness if we exercise our minds:
remembering what he’s done for us and what he’s
said, reasoning with him, and disciplining ourselves to keep
thinking on his presence with us moment-by-moment.
Imagination
is an important mental capacity. In the course of a
day we receive so many harmful images of sensuality, anger,
and chaos. But we can turn away from these and instead
use our minds to focus on and hold onto positive, God-blessed
images, like “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not
want.” Meditating deeply and prayerfully, over
and over, on the Psalm 23 images and scenes of your relationship
with the Lord as your Good Shepherd and God will bring deep
restoration to your soul.
To expand
our mental capacities for God we need to train and renew
our minds through study, meditation, and memorization of
Scripture – especially long passages of Scripture that
get you into the flow of God’s life. This is
how we internalize God’s truth and the structure of
it to be in-formed by him. Our minds
are like a muscle that can be strengthened through exercise
and we see this with memorization in that the more we practice
this the better we get at it.
“Study this
Book of the Law continually” (Joshua 1:8, NLT).
“Test
me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind” (Psalm
26:2).
“On
my bed I remember you; I think of you though
the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:6).
“Remember the
wonders he has done” (Psalm 105:5).
“Search
me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm
139:23).
“An
upright man gives thought to his ways” (Proverbs
21:29).
“As
he thinks within himself, so he is” (Proverbs
23:7, NASB).
“I
applied my mind to know wisdom” (Ecclesiastes
8:16).
“‘Come
now, let us reason together,’ says the LORD” (Isaiah
1:18).
“Thou
wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed
on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3,
KJV).
“As
the heavens are higher than the earth, so are… my thoughts than
your thoughts. As the rain and snow come down
from heaven… so is my word that goes out from my mouth” (Isaiah
55:9-11).
“The mind set
on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6, NASB).
“Be
transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans
12:2).
“Think of
yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure
of faith God has given you” (Romans 12:3)
“Thinketh no
evil” (1 Corinthians 13:5, KJV).
“Demolish
strongholds… against the knowledge of God… take
captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2
Corinthians 10:4-5)
“Take
the helmet of salvation [on your head] ” (Ephesians
6:17).
“Think of
yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself” (Philippians
2:5, MSG).
“Whatever
is true…lovely…praiseworthy, think about
such things” (Philippians 4:8).
“Set
your minds on things above” (Colossians 3:2).
“Have
a strong and steadfast belief in the trustworthy message” (Titus
1:9, NLT).
“Think of
ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good
deeds” (Hebrews 10:24, NLT)
“Keep
your eyes on Jesus… Study how
he did it” (Hebrews 12:2, MSG).
Directing
the parts of your self with your thinking:
- Heart: “As
he thinketh in his heart so is he” (Proverbs
23:7, KJV).
- Feelings: “Think about
[good] things… And the God of peace will be with
you” (Philippians 4:8-9).
- Social: “Think of
ways to encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:24, NLT).
- Body: “Your eye is
the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good,
your whole body also is full of light” (Luke 11:34).
- Soul: “Knowledge will
be pleasant to your soul” (Proverbs 2:10).
Mind – Feelings (Sensations,
emotions, desires, affect, concern):
Feelings
are an essential, God-created part of our lives and relationships;
they enable us to experience our life and connect with one
another, which is why upon greeting someone we often ask, “How
do you feel?” Feelings are the “concerns” that
connect us in relationship with ourselves, others, and God.
Sense-ations
of all kinds help us to sense, know, or “touch” the
reality of what is going on in our personal experience with
other people, or in the situation we find ourselves. It’s
important to say that “feelings”, in this sense,
are perceptions that represent subjective reality inside
us that may or may not accurately reflect objective reality
in the world.
We often
call feelings e-motions because they help to activate
and incline our will; they get us going in a particular direction
and in that aspect our feelings can be good or bad since
they’re leading us toward God or away from him. (But
even destructive feelings must be “accepted” and
become conscious before they can be changed.)
We tend
to think of love as a feeling, which tragically reduces love
and leaves it tossing on the waves of circumstances. Love
is much more than a feeling! The feeling of love, though
delightful, is too fickle to be relied upon. Love (along
with the rest of the fruit of the Spirit) is so much more
than a feeling – it’s a characteristic of being,
an intention of heart that is expressed in action and, of
course, we want to experience it emotionally too. And
if we can’t feel love then that is also a problem that
needs help!
It’s
difficult to locate feelings in the human personality, as
they often seem to be literally all over the place in the
person! We speak of heart desires, mental perceptions, bodily sensations, relational concerns,
and soul longings. What this language indicates
is how integrated we are as persons and that our feelings
are an important way that we access all the parts
of who we are and get ourselves going in a direction.
In our
culture today we tend to locate feelings as belonging to
the heart, but the heart (in Biblical language) is the same
as our spirit or will and it is the core of our beings. To
identify our feelings with our heart/will compels us
to act out whatever we feel, which is most unwise and is,
in fact, the source of much sinful and compulsive behavior
and conflicts in relationships. Sometimes we must resist
acting on a feeling (e.g., lust, anger, desire for alcohol),
exercising self-control or delaying gratification so that
we can live in ways that are good, healthy, and loving. In
our culture today to not act on a feeling seems inauthentic. Feelings
dominate us. We may even worship them! When we
don’t feel good we may be so desperate that we’ll
do anything to feel better.
It’s
always helpful to understand our feelings – even if
they’re inclining us in a sinful direction – and
to admit or confess that we have them, like the Psalmist
does. Our feelings can be pleasant or unpleasant, healthy
or unhealthy, but they are not sinful in themselves, unless
we indulge them (e.g, nursing a grudge or losing our temper
at someone).
It’s
best to understand feelings as coming from our mind. This
is why thoughts and feelings are meant to go together, even
in the way our brains work (e.g., we remember best the things
that we have feelings about). It’s important
to integrate our thinking and feeling, to think about our
feelings and feel about our thoughts, so that personally
we can be awake and alert and yield our will to God and his
kingdom and function well as we serve him. A good rule
of life is to always think and feel (back and forth and prayerfully)
before you decide to say or do anything of significance.
To overcome
negative feelings that lead us away from God and the good
things he has for us we need to replace these with positive
feelings by growing in the qualities of faith, hope, love,
joy, and peace, and their emotional components. This
begins by thinking on the goodness of God and his love for
us.
“His
delight is in the law of the LORD” (Psalm 1:2).
“Taste and
see that the LORD is good” (Psalm 34:8).
“LORD,
we love to obey your laws; our heart's desire is to
glorify your name” (Isaiah 26:8, NLT).
“Jesus
called his disciples to him and said, ‘I feel sorry
for these people… I don't want to send them away hungry,
or they will faint along the road’” (Matthew
15:32, NLT).
“[The
two disciples walking on the Emmaus road] said to each other, ‘Didn't
our hearts feel strangely warm as [the risen Christ]
talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to
us?’" (Luke 24:32, NLT).
“[God’s]
purpose… was that the nations should seek after God
and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him – though
he is not far from any one of us” (Acts 17:27, NLT).
“For
we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians
5:7, KJV).
“The
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace…” (Galatians
5:22).
“It
is for you that I am suffering, so you should feel honored
and encouraged” (Ephesians 3:13, NLT).
“May
you experience the love of Christ” (Ephesians
3:19, NLT).
“It
is right for me to feel this way about all of you,
since I have you in my heart… all of you share in
God's grace with me” (Philippians 1:7)..
“All
I want is to know Christ” (Philippians 3:10a,
CEV).
“Their
destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach… their
mind is on earthly things” (Philippians 3:19).
“Rejoice
in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let
your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do
not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to
God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians
4:4-7).
“Flee… evil desires” (2
Timothy 2:22).
“[The
ungodly] are… doing whatever they feel like” (Jude
16, NLT).
Inclining
the parts of yourself with feelings:
· Heart: “Delight
yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of
your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
· Mind: “A cheerful mind
works healing” (Proverbs 17:22, AMP).
· Body: “Your
sensual desires… are ever warring in your bodily
members?” (James 4:1, AMP).
- Social: “You’re… showing
such strong concern for me… You came alongside
me in my troubles” (Philippians 4:10, MSG).
- Soul: “My
soul faints with longing for your salvation” (Psalm
119:81).
Act
with God in your Body
The body
is the visible and outer person living in the world. It’s
a physical and mobile energy pack for living within our natural,
God-created abilities. It’s our lower and mortal nature.
God created
our bodies as good, but they have been corrupted by Adam’s
sin and our sin – which actually comes to live in our
body parts (“members”). We must die to
the sinful tendencies of our “flesh” (natural
abilities apart from God) and train ourselves to give the “members
of our body” to God as “instruments of righteousness.”
A great
challenge in our spiritual growth is that we find that our
bodies are “at the ready” to particular forms
of sin, as well as mistrust in God. We have sinful
patterns of thoughts and feelings imbedded in our brain cells,
biochemistry, and bodily habits. These must be replaced
with God’s righteousness in our bodily members.
The Holy
Spirit actually comes to live inside the Christian’s
body and our spiritual formation in Christ occurs as we worship,
pray, and practice spiritual disciplines in our bodies. Over
the course of our lives on earth our bodies wear out and
die and then we receive glorious new bodies in heaven.
The Bible
is fully of body talk and we need to take it quite literally. This
is why we speak of “body language” to indicate
that reliable message about us that our bodies are always
communicating. What we do with the parts of our bodies
is very important for our holiness and wholeness.
“I
have set the LORD always before me... Therefore my heart
is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also
will rest secure” (Psalm 16:8-9).
“My body longs
for you” (Psalm 63:1).
“I
praise you [Lord] because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made” (Psalm 139:14).
“[God’s
words] are life to those who find them and health to all
their body” (Proverbs 4:22, NASB).
“A
heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots
the bones” (Proverbs 14:30).
“A
soothing tongue is a tree of life” (Proverbs
15:4, NASB).
“Your
eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good,
your whole body also is full of light” (Luke
11:34).
“Offer
the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness” (Romans
6:13).
“But
if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of
sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And
if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living
in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give
life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who
lives in you… If by the Spirit you put to death the
misdeeds of the body, you will live” (Romans
8:10-11, 13).
“Therefore,
I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as
living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this
is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:2).
“Make
your body a showplace of God’s greatness” (1
Corinthians 6:20, DW Paraphrase).
“Your body is
a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have
received from God. You are not your own” (1 Corinthians
9:19).
“I
have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I
live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself
for me” (Galatians 2:20).
“No
one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares
for it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians
5:29).
“If
anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect
man, able to keep his whole body in check” (James
3:2).
Engage
with God in loving relationships (social, community,
bonding, attachment)
We like
to think of ourselves as individuals, independent and self-sufficient,
but really there are no truly individual persons: we are
part of each other. We belong to one another and we
need one another. Our relatedness to others is actually
a part of our person and so the soul, the largest dimension
of our personality, encompasses our relatedness to others.
You and
I are a person only in community and this nature of ours
reflects the nature of God who is Three and One. “God
is love” includes this aspect that God is a community
of persons in perfect harmony.
We can’t
exist physically, psychologically, or spiritually without
being in relationship to others. We’re born from
the union of our parents, we develop psychologically into
a person (an “I”) by being cared for (as part
of a “we”), and we come to life and grow spiritually
only by being in loving relationship with God and other people. An
infant who is not shown loving care will die. A person
who does not trust in God’s love will never know “the
life that is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:19).
Our relationships
with one another are connected to our relationship with God. These
relationships with fellow believers are absolutely central
to Christian spiritual formation. (There are 56 “one
another” teachings in the New Testament in which we
are exhorted to love one another in a particular way.) Out
of the strength of our love relationships with God and one
another in the body of Christ we’re to love our neighbors,
strangers, and even our enemies.
“God
said, ‘It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll
make him a helper, a companion’” (Genesis
2:18, MSG).
“A
man will leave his father and mother and be united to
his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Genesis
2:24; Ephesians 5:31).
“Honor
your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12).
“Love
your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew
19:19 & 22:39).
“Go
with the multitude… to the house of God” (Psalm
42:4).
“Love
the Lord your God” (Matthew 22:37).
“As
I [Jesus] have loved you, so you must love one another” (John
13:34).
“Live
in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:16).
“Now
you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is
a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27).
“Be
kind and compassionate to one another” (Ephesians
4:32).
“He
who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28).
“Let
us not give up meeting together” (Hebrews 10:25).
“If
we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with
one another” (1 John 1:7).
“How
great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should
be called children of God” (1 John 3:1).
“Anyone
who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot
love God, whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:20).
Flow
with God’s life in your Soul (being, life,
personality)
The soul
is the deep self and it is mostly unconscious. We often
equate the soul with the spirit, but they are distinct. The
spirit (heart or will) is the core and the soul is
the flow of your whole being from deep inside to the
outside. The soul when connected with God is
like an inner stream of water that gives life as it flows
with strength, direction, and harmony.
As our
life force, the soul integrates and enlivens all aspects
of the person – spiritual, psychological, and physical – into
one unifying personality or flow of being that runs almost
on its own, which is why the Psalmist actually talks to his
soul in the second person.
The healthy
soul is conscious and alert and dynamic. We use the
term soul or soul-fullness to describe aliveness so “soul
food” is tasty and “soul music” moves us
to dance. The Bible depicts the soul as being meant
to be like a fountain that overflows generously to others
in a delightful stream of life.
“Give
heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently” (Deuteronomy
4:9, NASB).
“Follow
[the Lord’s] decrees and laws; carefully observe them
with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy
26:16).
“The
law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul” (Psalm
19:7).
“To
you, O LORD, I lift up my soul” (Psalm 25:1).
“Then
my soul will rejoice in the LORD and delight in his
salvation” (Psalm 35:9).
“I
pour out my soul… Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why
so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I
will yet praise him” (Psalm 42:4-5).
“Praise
the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his
holy name” (Psalm 103:1).
“My soul thirsts
for [the Lord] like a parched land” (Psalm 143:6; Psalm
63:2).
“Awake,
my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will
awaken the dawn” (Psalm 57:8).
“Knowledge
will be pleasant to your soul” (Proverbs 2:10).
“A
longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul” (Proverbs
13:19).
“[Jesus
said] take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle
and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew
11:29).
“For
whoever wants to save his life [or soul (paraphrase)]
will lose it, but whoever loses his life [or soul (paraphrase)]
for me will find it. What good will it be for a man
if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matthew
16:25-26).
“Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul [or
prayer, (MSG)] and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark
12:30).
“Jesus
stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If anyone is thirsty,
let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as
the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow
from within him’” (John 7:37-38).
“You
are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1
Peter 1:9).
“You
have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1
Peter 2:25).
PSALM
63: PRAYING WITH THE WHOLE PERSON
In order
to grow spiritually we need to learn how to devote our whole
self to God. For thousands of years God’s people
have prayed the Psalms to stir the fires of devotion in their
souls – their whole being and their whole life.
A favorite
psalm of mine to pray is Psalm 63. It is a great example
of David involving each of the six aspects of himself in
prayer and worship, connecting with God in his heart (spirit/will),
thoughts, feelings, body, social connections, and soul. Let’s
go through this psalm together verse-by-verse to learn how
we too can be soul-full in our relationship with God!
“O
God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you…” David
has chosen to yield to God as his Lord and to seek him
earnestly – from his heart (or spirit), which is
his will or freedom of choice that is the center of his
being (note that the biblical “heart” is not our
feelings!). This is the first and most important
prayer we can pray!
“My
soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you…” With
his soul (the integration and flow of his whole being)
and his body (his physical strength and natural abilities)
he yearns (a feeling) for God. Our world is a spiritual
desert that leaves us longing for God – far more
than we realize.
“In
a dry and weary land where there is no water… “ Here
David is talking about his feelings – he’s
thirsty and exhausted from running for his life in the
hot desert. He’s trying to escape King Saul
who is on the hunt to kill him, although David has only
blessed him – serving in his army, protecting him
from enemies, and playing the harp for him.
“I
have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and
your glory…” In the midst of his
suffering David is remembering (in thoughts) how in the
past he’s been blessed to encounter God and has “beheld” (with
his feelings) God’s power and glory while worshiping
him in community with other believers (social). Repeatedly,
we’re urged in the Bible to remember our experiences
with God and his people.
“Because
your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you…” Oh,
I love this line! If you know me well you’ve
heard me recite it many times. David’s heart
rejoices (a feeling) in God’s love and his lips (part
of his body) expresses this by glorifying God with his
words. Can you, like David, say from your heart that
God’s love is more precious to you than anything else
in life? Do you want to be with God and serve him
above all things and in all things?
“I
will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will
lift up my hands…” More body language. David
lifts up his hands to help him express his worship of the
Lord. Try it next time you’re singing praise
to God in church. Use your body to show your love
for God and it’ll engage your heart (the core of
your being) and soul (your whole being) in your worship. It’ll
help you to think and feel on God’s presence and
invite other people to join you and worship God freely. (You’ll
have to disconnect from worrying about the possibility
that other people might judge you and instead live for
the audience of One!)
“My
soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods…” David’s
soul (his whole self) is satisfied with God (that’s
a wonderful feeling!).
“With
singing lips my mouth will praise you...” Again,
he’s using his body to praise God.
“On
my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches
of the night…” Again, David speaks
of how he uses his thoughts (this is where healing and
growth begin) to direct himself to worship God. Hiding
in the desert to stay alive and trying to sleep on a rock
he had lots of time to think! Especially when it
was his turn to stay alert and keep watch for the enemy
in the middle of the night. What do you think about
when you can’t sleep? Waiting in line? Driving
in traffic? Doing routine work? Think on the
Lord who is actually with you all the time and you’ll
learn to “practice the presence of God.”
“Because
you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My
soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me…” What
a precious picture of David’s reliance upon the Lord! Imagine
this for yourself. David’s soul (his whole
being) sings joyfully (more feeling) as he cuddles under
the Lord’s wing and clings to him! You’d
think he’d be trembling in fear of an attack from
his enemies, frustrated that he can’t sleep, angry
that he’s being mistreated by Saul, depressed that
he hasn’t been home in months. Instead, David’s
soul is held up straight, tall, and strong by the Lord
and he’s content and happy in the Lord’s care.
“They
who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to
the depths of the earth. They will be given over
to the sword and become food for jackals…” Here
David is back in his social context, this time referring
to his enemies. The strong language may cause you
to wince as it seems “not nice,” but remember
his life is in danger and he’s done nothing wrong
and actually he never seeks revenge on Saul and his armies. David
is entrusting his anger (the implied feeling behind this
part of his prayer) to God, relying upon God’s just
response to his enemies. David isn’t making
things happen for himself in his life and he’s not
trying to get God to do what he wants – he’s
trusting God and waiting on him. In my life in one
situation after another I’ve learned to pray a simple
prayer of surrender: “Lord, your will, in your way,
at your time.”
“But
the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name
will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.” King
David closes his psalm by feeling the joy of God’s
presence as in prayer he entrusts to God himself, God’s
people, and his enemies who have lied about him (social
connections). May you and I also rejoice in God as
we yield our whole selves to him!
THE
CHANGE PROCESS
We’ve
said that to change and grow we must do so in all six rings
of the circle. But what does the change process look
like? How do learning, healing, and growth proceed? In Renovation
of the Heart Dallas Willard gives a simple, but profound
model for the general pattern to how we can be transformed
to become more like Jesus in any area. To make a real
change in our character, to live soul-fully with “vim
and vigor” we need VIM: vision, intention, and means.
- Vision. To
learn or grow or heal you first need to envision it as
a possibility with your mind. You need to
be able to conceive of the change, to see it in someone
else, to understand what it’d be like, to think and
feel about it. A God-blessed vision for change will
be an expression of the gospel of the kingdom of God: “Jesus
the King is here for you right now where you are to govern
your life in good ways.”
- Intention. In
your heart you have to decide to change. But
this doesn’t mean, “Try harder!” That
rarely works. You need to, “Try smarter.” You’ve
got to get motivated to work through difficulties, let
go of old ways, try new things, get help, and persevere. This
may be scary and feel like you’re losing your self! (Remember,
Jesus talked about that!) You may need to begin with the
intention: “I want to want to change – please
help me Lord.”
- Means. Once
you’ve seen the change, chosen to work on becoming
the kind of person you’ve envisioned, then you need
to act on your heart’s intention with your
hands and legs, thoughts and feelings, in your body and
with other people. Far from “just do it,” this
means engaging in a variety of courses of actions (e.g.,
spiritual disciplines for the soul) that you especially
need to do “off the spot” (outside of the temptation
or stress) in order to become a different kind of person
on the inside who would say or do the new behavior that
is good and loving.
Common
Examples of V-I-M
Maybe you
get a vision for learning to speak Spanish because there
are so many people that speak Spanish and you can’t
understand them. You have a friend who is bi-lingual
and it’s really helped his business and he’s
enjoyed vacationing in Mexico. So you decide that you
want to learn Spanish because it’ll help you. You’ll
need to implement a variety of means like taking Spanish
classes, listening to CD’s of people speaking Spanish,
doing verb conjugation homework, and practicing conversing
with people who speak Spanish.
The way
alcoholics become sober and live in recovery works the same
way. They get a vision of recovery (from God) by remembering
what life was like before alcohol or considering the life
of a sober and healthy friend. Then they decide they
want to become the person they envision. Then they
work a “program”: attend regular meetings in
a recovery group, implement each of the 12 Steps (includes
a variety of means like surrender, confession, making amends,
prayer, and meditation), talk with a sponsor whenever they’re
tempted to drink, start keeping a journal, and so forth. If
they keep the vision of being sober and healthy before their
eyes, stay motivated, and keep working a good program over
time then they’ll progress in recovery.
What if
we approached growing to become more like Jesus in this same
way? Overcoming our sins and emotional struggles? We
can grow in holiness and wholeness, but we must plan for
it and work with God on it. God won’t do it for
us and we can’t do it on our own; we must go into training
with Jesus and learn to draw purpose and strength from his
grace.
PSALM
13: DAVID USES VIM IN HIS TRIAL
Psalm 13
is a good Psalm to memorize. This is for the “Dark
Night of the Soul” when you can’t seem to feel
God’s presence or blessing even though you’re
seeking him. If we’re honest we have to admit
that we’ve all been through times where we struggled
with God because our prayer wasn’t being answered or
God didn’t seem to be helping us as we wanted.
David went
through many dark times like this and he learned to love
and serve God anyway – even to delight in God in the
midst of the difficulty – and Psalm 13 demonstrates
that he did this by using vision (vs. 3), intention (vs.
4), and means (praising God in vs 5 and honest praying in
vs 1-4).
1 How long,
O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from
me?
2
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep
in death;
4
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6
I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
JESUS
USED VIM TO HEAL AND HELP PEOPLE
Jesus helped
people change in the way we’re describing. Here
are a few brief references:
Vision
“Your
eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your
whole body also is full of light” (Luke 11:34a).
“Do
you believe?” (John 9:35-41).
Intention
“What
do you want me to do for you?” (Matthew 20:32, NIV).
“Do
you want to get well?” (John 5:6b, NIV).
Means
“Jesus
had compassion on them and touched their eyes” (Matthew
20:34a, NIV).
“Get
up! Pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8, NIV).
“Go,
show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices” (Mark
1:44, NIV).
“Having
said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the
saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. ‘Go,’ he
told him, ‘wash in the Pool of Siloam’” (John
9:6-7a, NIV).
“But
this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting” (Matthew
17:21, NIV).
OTHER
EXAMPLES
There are
many other examples of this VIM pattern of how people change
in Scripture. Here are two:
Jacob
grew through…
A vision
of God and his angels descending to him (Genesis 28:12-15)
The intention
to wrestle for God’s blessing (Genesis 32:24-30)
Means like
an altar, prayer, meditation, memorial stone, and sacrifice
(Genesis 35)
Paul
grew by…
A vision
of Christ, the intent to know him, and following means of
grace (Acts 9:1-19)
COUNSELING
EXAMPLE #1
I’ve
been using the V-I-M progression as the basis of a treatment
plan for many of my clients in psychotherapy. Here’s
an example:
A general
contractor we’ll call Dale needed help because he kept
losing his temper at his co-workers. For instance,
he said that one of the construction workers he supervises
disrespected him in front of the customer by openly disagreeing
and putting down his plan for an aspect of the job.
How can
Dale learn to control his temper? For years he’s
used the “try harder” approach. That would
seem to work for awhile, until he’d lose his temper
again. If anything, his problem had gotten worse over
the years.
This time
Dale made progress by learning to try differently, by developing
and following a VIM training program with Jesus as his coach
and me (his counselor) as the assistant coach.
Vision: Through
prayer and dialogue with me God showed Dale that that the
good news for him was that with Jesus as his ever-present
and loving Governor he could become a man of peace who was
grace-filled. This is a kingdom vision.
Intention: Dale
had to “take heart.” Initially, he admitted
to me and to God that he held onto anger because he felt
that sometimes he might need it because it gave him power
to right wrongs and protect himself. It enabled him
not to feel vulnerable. Did he really want to let go
of his anger and rely on Jesus? Was he willing to seek
to become the kind of person who would deal with being mistreated
without using anger (the anger was helpful to alert him to
a problem, but not helpful as a motive, which is why the
Biblical counsel is “Lay aside anger”), but to
instead stand with Jesus and respond with his love and wisdom
for himself and his offender? He learned to want this,
first by wanting to want it and looking to God to change
his heart. He prayed for his heart’s desire to
be formed around the vision that God gave him.
Means: We
developed a training regimen for Dale. In addition
to his counseling, this included things he could do between
sessions in “workouts” that would in time enable
him to do what initially he could not do by his own direct
effort. In a very broad sense we can call these practices “spiritual
disciplines.” These are means to God’s
grace and power to enable Dale to change on the inside and
increasingly become the kind of person who would not lose
his temper even when others mistreated him. Here is
the list of practices that fit Dale’s need (notice
how the different aspects of his person are being addressed):
- Boundaries. Dale
practiced setting limits to get the rest his body and soul
needed (e.g., saying no sometimes to opportunities to work
overtime, not working late, and taking vacation time).
- Enjoy
nature. He threw his boomerang in the park near his
home.
- Thanksgiving. He
focused his mind on God’s goodness by offering prayers
of gratitude throughout the day for specific examples of
God’s blessings, starting with little things like
sunshine and a good meal.
- Scripture
memory. He memorized Romans 8:1 and prayed on this
to rely on God’s grace to help him overcome his tendencies
to internalize anger in the form of self-condemnation (experienced
as guilt, depression, and inadequacy).
- Gospel
Meditation. Dale studied and meditated on the life
of Jesus in the gospels, paying special attention to how
gracious he was with difficult people, how at peace he
was in stress, and, most importantly, how he found the
strength to live this way by withdrawing from the crowds
to pray to his “Abba.”
- Submission. Because
anger is so much about control, Dale needed to learn to “abandon
outcomes” to the Lord. He prayed the Lord’s
Prayer, dwelling on “Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done,” in order to entrust to the Sovereign Lord
all that would happen him that day and to pray for the
strength to accept irritations and injustices as opportunities
for him to learn from Jesus and grow in peace.
- Relationships. He
spent time with and talked with people who listened to
him and gave him grace and kindness.
COUNSELING
EXAMPLE #2
A number
of people have sought my help with various types of sexual
addiction: lust and masturbation, pornography, porn shops,
affairs, homosexuality, etc. The V-I-M approach has
been extremely helpful. Previously, even with extensive
psychotherapy and 12 Step Recovery work people were often
not getting free of their addiction. But I found that
adding the spiritual discipline regimen led to dramatic healing
and break throughs. (Below I use a generic example
as if “you” are having a problem with lust and
seeking help. You may have another compulsive behavior
problem that fits.)
Vision:
Jesus is
the Glorious One who is most beautiful, lovely, and captivating. He
is the Lord Almighty and the King of kings and he wants to
be your friend! He is ready to rule your life in kind
ways that are always good for you if you’ll turn from
trusting the porn star to relying upon him.
Intention:
Do you
want to become the kind of person who finds Jesus’ name
sweeter than honey, who thinks of Jesus all the time, not
a sexy person to lust after? Are you willing to give
up sexual excitement along with its adrenaline rush, sense
of importance, and gratification and to instead learn to
live in the love, joy, and peace of Jesus – even though
you won’t always feel what you want and when you want
it? (Note, it doesn’t work to try to change your
sexual behavior. You have to rely on God to help you
change your inner attitudes, thoughts, and desires.)
Means:
There are
many options for what someone with a compulsive sexual problem
might do to learn not to cultivate lust anymore, but to instead
nourish desire for Jesus and his kingdom. These are
part of a spiritual workout program, a way of heeding Jesus’ advice
to Peter and his trial: “Watch and pray.” Before
temptation comes, and in anticipation that it’ll come
again, go to work in prayer with Jesus as your coach and
do some exercises with him, asking him to form your heart
and all the aspects of your person to be more like him. Here
are a few possibilities to add to counseling and a recovery
or support group program:
- Fasting. I
don’t think you can overcome addiction to lust, with
all its physical dimensions, without learning how to fast. At
first, going without food for a period of time may create
headaches and irritability. You have to start small! Learn
to treat your hunger pangs as church bells calling you
to prayer and meditation. Discover that God’s
Word is a literal substance that gives you life (Matthew
4:4) and trust him to sustain you when you’re hungry. As
you learn to go without the food that you need and to be
content and cheerful and strong anyway because you have
the Lord caring your then you can learn to be at peace
and happy without sexual gratification (which isn’t
even a need, but a drive).
- Memorization. It’d
be helpful for you to find some Scripture passages to memorize. You
need to learn to preoccupy your mind with God’s Word
that reminds you of his goodness and his love.
- Practice
the Presence of God. To overcome sexual addiction
you have to learn to change the way you think and feel. Realize
that whenever the temptation to lust comes to you that
Jesus is with you and you can look to his beauty, admire
his goodness, appreciate his blessings, and talk to him
about your struggles.
- Confession. Whenever
you “act out” sexually talk about this with
a confidante or accountability partner. Start holding
yourself accountable for your heart’s desires and
confess the times that you indulged a lustful thought and
feeling. Psalm 51 is a great aid to form prayers
of confession that promote healing, reconciliation with
God, and change.
- Affirm
identity in Christ. Underlying compulsive sexual
behavior are deep deeps for love and significance that
have not been met, but are being sexualized. In addition
to receiving God’s grace in relationships you can
learn to receive it from God directly by hearing and trusting
his affirmations to you from Scripture, like, “How
great is the love the Father has lavished upon us that
we should be called children of God” (1 John 3:1).
PERSONAL
EXAMPLE
This V-I-M
plan isn’t just something that I’m helping other
people with. I need it myself too! For instance,
about three years ago I became convicted about the way I
was driving. Previously, I joked about rushing behind
the wheel or casually complained about rude drivers. But
then I saw clearly that I was the rude driver! When
people drove reckless I sometimes got angry and muttered
under my breath at them. When someone wanted to cut
in front of me I might not let him. If someone was
driving slow in the fast lane I might have gotten too close
to his rear bumper to speed him up or move him over. Sometimes
I didn’t let cars pass me because I wanted to be first. And
I was prone to these reactions even when I had set aside
my 20-minute solo commute in the car for silence, solitude,
and prayer!
I’m
sorry to say that I did those things. It’s
all so petty isn’t it? I’m sure you don’t
drive that way! Or maybe sometimes you do. I
understand! But now I drive differently – not
always, of course, but almost always – and I do so
with a different attitude and feeling.
It’s
a small thing in a way, but for over a year I made a big
deal about this in my prayer life because God gave me the
vision that I could become the kind of person that Jesus
spoke of who blessed those that cursed him.
The amazing
thing I discovered was that as I learned to rely on God to
become more patient and generous in my driving (overcoming
selfish ambition) I found that it was applying to the other
areas of my life! I was learning to cheer for the success
of my colleagues rather than to be jealous or competitive
with them. I was learning to be content and find my
joy in the Lord with me even when things didn’t go
my way in a meeting or with a project or also in larger areas
like my relationships or my career.
Here was
my VIM training program:
Vision:
Jesus gave
me the vision of my turning over my driving to him and learning
to drive as he would drive if he were me: patiently and generously,
to use this as a specific example of learning how to become
someone who from my heart would routinely bless those that
cursed (or offended) me.
Intention:
I wanted
to be like Jesus behind the wheel of my car and in all the
wheels of my life! I didn’t want to be governed
by anger or selfish ambition but by Jesus’ love. I
was willing to take longer to get places.
Means:
There are
a number of practices that help me to change over time. Most
of the things I did to change I did “off the spot,” outside
of the temptation to drive aggressively. Like Peter,
I knew that my flesh (natural abilities apart from God) were
weak. I was willing to drive differently, but that
wasn’t enough! I needed to “watch and pray” with
Jesus, to train with him, to rely on him and his grace to
become a different kind of person on the inside (Matthew
26:41).
- Confession. I
confessed my struggles with ambition (not just in my car,
but in my life) and pride to God, trusted friends, and
my spiritual mentor. I asked for prayer from them.
- Scripture
memory. I memorized passages from the Bible. One
that especially helped me with this was Psalm 16. In
verses 5 and 6 David prays, “Lord, you have assigned
me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The
boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely
I have a delightful inheritance.” Probably,
at that time David was hiding out in the desert from his
enemies, foraging for food and water to stay alive, sleeping
on a rock, and bereft of friends except the band of outlaws
who attached themselves to him. If he could be content
in such circumstances by relying on the Lord then I could
do so when stuck in traffic or offended by a rude driver.
- Centering
Prayer. I used a Breath Prayer rhythm (repeating
a simple phrase from the Bible in cadence with slow, deep
breathing) based on Paul’s words in Philippians 2:3: “In
Christ’s humility, consider others before yourself.” I
thanked Jesus for humbly sacrificing himself for me and
prayed for the strength to put others first, as he did
for me.
- Gospel
meditation. I thought a lot about Jesus giving most
of his life to work as a common carpenter who served complaining
customers and loaned his tools out and never saw them again. He
lived a simple life of love without selfish ambition. Then
in his public ministry he continually withdrew from fanfare
and was never in a hurry, except to get to Jerusalem to
go to the cross. Jesus put the spotlight on the Father
and the Spirit. He was humble. He submitted
to the Father’s plans and the prophecies of Scripture. I
prayed for God to help me to be submitted to him like that,
following his leading rather than my ambitions.
- Praise. Whenever
I started to feel irritated behind the wheel I prayed, “Hallowed
by Thy name.” And I went on from there, just
praising God. Over time I found my praising of God
overflow into love for rude drivers as I prayed, “Father,
please protect this man as he drives home. He may
be going home to a family or perhaps he’s having
a hard day. Please bless him.” When someone
tried to cut in front of me I could slow down and pray, “Thank
you Jesus that I can be last with you. Whatever my
position in life, it’s wonderful to be with you!”
- Margin. Part
of my problem with ambition has to do with hurry – trying
to do too much! Something that helped me with this
was to discipline myself to put more margin in my schedule
by giving myself breaks and showing up early for appointments
(I still need to work on this!).
- Silence
and solitude. About once a week I took a couple of
hours to be alone with God. Once per quarter I went
on retreat. Stepping outside of my responsibilities
and all the things that made me feel important helped me
to see that my value as a person was based on the attention
that God was giving me, who I was with him more than in
the things I was saying or doing.
GOLDEN
TRIANGLE OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Briefly,
let’s consider another way of looking at how people
change and grow. You’ll see that this is complementary
to the V-I-M model. These are some essential and deep
teachings worth much more consideration and study that we’ll
give here.
In Divine
Conspiracy Dallas Willard teaches that there are three
conditions that are especially helpful for our growth and
they form a golden triangle.
- Accepting
our problems
- Practicing
the presence of God
- Using
spiritual disciplines
We need
all three in operation in our lives to make significant progress
in our growth in Christ-likeness.
Accepting
our problems. Repeatedly the Bible teaches and
models for us to rejoice in the Lord in the midst of suffering
because the Lord himself is with us, loving us and teaching
us so that we grow in good character (e.g., Romans 5:3-5,
James 1:2-4). No matter how bad things are for us
or how excluded we are by our society or other people we’re
blessed if we’re a part of the kingdom of the heavens. (See
the Beattitudes in Matthew 5:1-8 for eight examples of
seemingly unfortunate types of people – those who
are spiritually immature, grieving, shy, can’t find
justice, super sensitive, simple, mediators in a conflict,
and the persecuted – who, much to our surprise are
blessed, not because of their suffering or struggle, but
because they’re welcomed into God’s loving
rule by Jesus. See also Luke 6:20-26).
We all
have problems that we wish we didn’t have. My
opportunity is to say with Jesus, “Blessed are you
Bill with ___________. For yours is the kingdom of
heaven.” Indeed, we’re wise if we learn
to “endure hardship as discipline” in order to
be trained by our Heavenly Father to grow in his righteousness
and peace (Hebrews 12:7-11).
Practicing
the Presence of God. David is talking about how
he practices the presence of God when he says, “I
have set the Lord always before me. Because he is
at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8). Paul
also strived to maintain conscious and prayerful contact
with God at all times and taught us to do the same: “Pray
continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). The great
devotional masters like Brother Lawrence, Thomas Kelly,
and Frank Laubach show us living examples of how to do
this.
Using
Spiritual Disciplines. We grow spiritually by
working with God, disciplining ourselves to listen to his
Word, trust his ways, and respond to his initiative. We
can’t grow through self-sufficient, legalistic religious
efforts. Nor can we grow by being passive, as if
God does it all. The Christian life is an interactive
relationship with God. Spiritual disciplines – like
prayer, meditation on Scripture, silence and solitude,
and fasting – are practices that put us in position
to make contact with God and his grace and to be empowered
by the Spirit to become more and more like Jesus from the
inside out. The Bible teaches us: “Train yourself
to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).
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