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Dr.
Bill Gaultiere
(714) 971-4213
What a
Victim Might Say to an Offender:
- “It’s
not appropriate for you to give me orders like that.”
- “I’m
angry at you for speaking badly of me to your friend.”
- “Don’t
touch me there. If you do that again I’m leaving.”
- “I
will not continue to tolerate you hitting me when you’re
angry at me. You need help learning to control your anger. You
need to talk to a counselor (or a support group). If you won’t
then I will consider a separation.”
What a
Co-Dependent (Rescuer) Might Say to a Manipulator (or Addict):
- “It
sounds like you don’t know what to do to help yourself.”
- “You
seem frustrated that I can’t fix your problem for you.”
- “No,
I’m not comfortable doing that.”
- “You
have a problem with _______. I can’t help you with that.
You need to go to a 12 Step meeting (or see a counselor).”
What an
Approval-Seeker Might Say to a Partner:
- “It
seems like you’re in a bad mood. I’m afraid that you’re
angry with me. Are you?” (Prevents making assumptions and
obsessing)
- “I
disagree with you. My opinion is ________.”
- “No,
I’m sorry I can’t do that for you now.”
What a
Negated (or Invalidated) Person Might Say to a Crazy-Maker:
- “I
felt judged by what you said.”
- “No,
that’s not how I feel. I feel ________.”
- “Please
stop that. I don’t like it when you tell me how I should
feel.”
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