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Dr. Kenneth
France
Revised March 2004
When we encounter
someone who is considering suicide it is scary. Being frightened
is natural when we think that the person might soon be dead. In
addition to death though, there are two other possibilities. One
is helping the person to choose life. If that seems unlikely to
happen, the remaining option is to do what we can to physically
prevent suicide. Although that is a short-term solution, it sometimes
is necessary, and we must be willing to do it.
Physically
Preventing Suicide
When it comes
to physically preventing suicide, there are two issues. (1) How
do I know when I should try to physically prevent suicide? (2)
What should I do if I decide that it is necessary to physically
prevent suicide?
How do
I know when I should try to physically prevent suicide?
If for any
reason you suspect the person may be considering suicide, you
should immediately ask about that possibility. For example, you
might say, "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" If you get
a "Yes" you need to follow up by exploring how and when the person
might do it. For example, you could say, "Have you thought about
how you would kill yourself?" and "Are you intending to kill yourself
today?" (There are many other ways in which you could explore
those possibilities - these are just sample questions. Also, be
sure to reflect each response you get from the person.) You need
to try to physically prevent suicide if the individual (1) intends
to commit suicide today or tomorrow, (2) intends to commit suicide
at some other specific time, or (3) already has engaged in life-threatening
behavior today.
What should
I do if I decide it is necessary to physically prevent suicide?
Call the police.
That's the short answer. Here are some details. If you do not
already have the person's name, address, and telephone number
from the profile information, it is helpful to ask for that information,
however we can use their IP and Internet Provider information
to supply to the police to help them locate the chatter.
(See below for using IP for tracing.)
When exploring
the individual's plan for suicide, you must ask if there are firearms
at the person's location. Once you have the preceding information,
you are now ready to begin the process of calling the police.
(If you can't get the number for the police where the person lives,
one option is to call your local 911 and pass on the information,
or use the person's area code to call the police in the individual's
community.) Call the police. Identify yourself as a crisis
intervention counselor with New Hope Online. Be prepared to give
the phone number for Sara Cruce (714-971-4308) and the physical
address of New Hope Online (12141 Lewis Street, Garden Grove,
CA 92840), as well as your own phone number and location.
Explain that you are online in our private chat room (or have
just been online) with a person who is intending to commit suicide.
Describe the means the person plans to use and when the person
is thinking about doing it - or what life-threatening action the
individual already has taken. Describe the person's answer when
you asked about the presence of firearms. Be responsive to any
questions the dispatcher asks you.
If you cannot
contact the police because you are unable to call and be on the
Internet at the same time, use the Instant Messenger to request
assistance from another counselor.
If the person
still is online, continue interacting with the individual to the
best of your ability. Whether to tell the person about calling
the police is a decision you must make. Use your common sense.
NOTE: You
may use the IP number provided automatically in the "Info" tab
to identify the chatter's Internet Service Provider phone number
(other info listed is not relevant to us). Take the "Host
IP" number from the General Chat Info, go to http://www.arin.net/
and enter the number (with dots separating numbers) in the Whois
window at the top right of the screen. Click on Search Whois.
In most cases, this will give you the service provider name, address
and phone number to give to the police. The IP is
the actual "address" of the personal computer and only the police
can request owner identification from the service provider.
Helping
a Person to Choose Life
With persons
for whom you have called the police and with suicidal individuals
who do not appear to be in imminent danger (for whom you have
decided not to call the police), you should help the person to
choose life.
Here is one
way you can try to do that. As you explore thoughts and feelings,
bring up the following sequence of topics: (1) the advantages
of suicide, (2) the disadvantages of life, (3) the advantages
of life, and (4) the disadvantages of suicide. Let's consider
each one.
+ Suicide
- The advantages of suicide
This should
be the first of the four topics. Reflect responses. Do not argue,
debate, challenge, or persuade.
- Life
- The disadvantages of life
After summarizing
what you already know, explore additional difficulties. Reflect
responses. Do not argue, debate, challenge, or persuade.
+ Life
- The advantages of life
Do not accept
"none." Now that you have been brave enough to explore the person's
pain, you have established rapport and you can afford to be mildly
confrontational. If the person says "none" explore a favorite
food or past enjoyable activities that have the potential to be
enjoyable again.
- Suicide
- The disadvantages of suicide
Bring this
up if the person remains suicidal. Do not accept "none." Disadvantages
to consider can include: the possibility of being seriously disabled
for decades if the suicide fails, the pain associated with suicide,
the possibility of changing one's mind after it is too late to
stop the process (most people do change their minds).
If the person
remains imminently suicidal, and you have not yet called the police,
call the police now.
If the person
no longer is suicidal, continue with the problem-solving process.
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