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One of the most disturbing and difficult calls we get at New Hope comes from callers who claim to have molested a child. Recently Larry assisted Cathy Spiegel and Myra McClain in handling a caller from a child molester and conducting a successful trace. They handled this difficult call quite well. The significance of this is huge. A number of young girls who apparently have been violated will be protected from further abuse by the alleged perpetrator and they will get help to heal and recover. Other potential victims will be spared. The perpetrator himself, if arrested, will receive court ordered treatment and a chance to repent.

This situation reminded me of the importance of these calls and how difficult and confusing they can be. Therefore, we wanted to give you some input on how to handle them effectively. When you get one of these calls it’s normal to be upset and to be pulled in different directions at once. Has the caller really violated a child? Or is this a fantasy he’s divulging to relieve himself of guilt and/or upset you? What should you do?

The first thing you need to do is to “contain” your emotional reaction (feel your feelings - fear for the child, outrage, horror, etc. - and keep them inside of yourself so that you don’t react impulsively and come to a quick and inaccurate conclusion). Now you can focus on gathering more information so that you can make sound judgments. Ask the caller if he did these things. What did he do? (Don’t let him get sexually inappropriate by giving unnecessary explicit details.) Try to get the names of the children, dates the abuse occurred, etc. If the caller has specific information, sounds credible, or is upset, then his confession is probably legitimate. He may feel guilty about what he’s done and want to stop, but be unable to.

In any case, if you’re left with a “reasonable suspicion” that a child may have been abused then you need to attempt to make a child abuse report. Make the report even if you’re not sure the abuse happened (don’t try to be a detective in order to determine for certain what happened) and make the report even if the caller is sincere in confessing his sin and wants help (don’t take the law in your own hands). The bottom line legally, ethically, and morally is this: If you have a “reasonable suspicion” that abuse may have occurred then we need to intervene on behalf of the child.

When you’ve decided that you may be talking to a perpetrator of child abuse follow these steps:

• 1. Initiate a trace as soon as you have a “reasonable suspicion” that abuse may have occurred. Get another counselor to help you by calling the Emergency Traceback Officer. (The Assistant counselor should explain the situation to the Traceback Officer.) Try to keep the caller on the phone until the trace is completed and until you’ve done what you can to help the caller. Don’t tell the caller about the trace.
• 2. Gather all pertinent information to be put on the Suspected Child Abuse Form.
  • Name, address, phone number, age, sex, and location of the child victim.
  • Date, time, and place of incident(s).
  • Summary of the abuse that happened.
  • Name, address, etc. of perpetrator - after the trace is completed (otherwise, he may hang up on you for fear of getting caught).
• 3. Express concern for the child and solicit concern from the perpetrator too.
• 4. If the caller is sincere in his confession and is seeking help, then offer support. If he’s not sincere then confront him with what he’s done, the harm caused to this child, his lack of remorse, and his unwillingness to change his behavior.
• 5. Encourage the perpetrator to turn himself in and get help.
• 6. When the trace is completed the Traceback Officer will contact the police in the perpetrator’s city. The police will then investigate the suspect’s background, talk with him, and, if necessary, make an arrest. If arrested the perpetrator will be forced to get the professional help he needs.
• 7. When the call is completed turn your phone off to complete your contact sheet and fill out the Suspected Child Abuse Report form and Susie or Sheila will send it out in the mail.
• 8. If the trace was not successful then you should call Children’s Protective Services to make a verbal report (with written report to follow in the mail).

If you do not have a reasonable suspicion that abuse may have occurred and the caller is claiming that it did (in other words he’s lying or fantasizing) then the situation needs to be handled differently. The caller is abusing you and this needs to be confronted. If you think the caller is lying about having abused a child then handle it as follows:

• 1. Gather pertinent information to confirm your belief that he’s being dishonest.
• 2 .Verbalize your mistrust saying something like, “It sounds to me like you’re making this up.”