William Gaultiere,
Ph.D.
Director of New Hope & Psychologist with ChristianSoulCare.com
I have a simple,
but life changing concept to share with you: "Your heart will
sing when you embrace God's blessing to be a blessing." God has
a specific calling for your life, a unique and wonderful plan
for who you're to be. Discovering and living your God-ordained
purpose is the way to begin your new year.
I
didn't just make this up! This is what the Bible says. As one
example consider what God said to Jeremiah (and through Jeremiah
to all His children):
"Before
I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I
set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations"
(Jeremiah 1:5, NIV). "For I know the plans I have for you,'
declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).
God Still
Calls People into His Service
I was talking
with a friend of mine who is a Christian speaker. I asked him
what his mission statement was. He didn't know, but he wanted
to. So I asked him, "How do you want to be remembered when
you die? What are the essential attributes to who you are?"
Three things
came to his mind:
- "I want
to be hospitable. I like to be warm and friendly with people
and invite them to participate in whatever we're doing."
- "Being
a gracious person is also really important to me. I want
to bless people with God's generous love."
- "People
tell me that I make things more fun. I like hearing that
because I want to help people relax and laugh and have a good
time."
"So you want
to invite people to receive God's grace in a way that is fun,"
I synthesized.
His eyes lit
up. "Yes, that's who I want to be!"
"One of the
things that strikes me," I said to my friend, "is that you didn't
experience these qualities as a child. You didn't feel invited
into a close and caring relationship with your parents. Your
childhood was dominated by your mother's criticism and negativity.
Your home growing up was anything but hospitable, gracious, and
fun. But here's the beauty of it: God has healed you and reconciled
you to His love so that now you can comfort others who are struggling
as you have in the past with the comfort you've received from
God and His ambassadors."
Then I reminded
my friend, "In your audience when you speak in churches and at
seminars are people who don't feel welcome in Christian community.
They feel rejected or criticized. They may be depressed. You
can speak right to the hurts and hopes in their hearts because
you've come from the darkness of cold isolation and into the warm
light of God's love."
Finding your
"Sweet Spot" in the Trinity
What God did
for Jeremiah and for my friend he's done for me. And he'll do
it for you too! Why? Because it's who God is and he invites
and empowers us to be like him. Let me explain.
I want my
life and relationships to follow the pattern of the Trinity: Father-Son-Holy
Spirit in wonderful community, finding their joy in loving and
honoring one another. And then the most amazing part is that
God invites us to join his community! The Father runs to welcome
us home, the Son enters into our humanity and all its struggles,
and the Spirit moves inside our souls forever. By faith in Christ
we receive his gracious favor and we come alive.
Jesus' prayer
for us that we join the community of the Trinity and model our
relationships after theirs (John 17-18). He is showing us the
way to live a joyful life: live and relate to others in love
like God does. Since "God is love" (1 John 4:8 & 16) God
is just being himself when the members of the Trinity love one
another and us. God is as genuine as genuine can be which is why
he identified himself to Moses as "I AM." I believe it's the
same for us. God created each of us unique and with a wonderful
purpose in mind. We're to express who we are with him and others
genuinely and lovingly.

Bruce Wilkinson
in "The Dream Giver" says that when we're doing what we love and
it meets someone else's need this is our "sweet spot." I'd add:
this is true especially when we know that we're following God's
call and honoring him. Life on earth doesn't get any better than
this three-way alignment of the "Ministry Triangle" (above): using
your gifts to love others and honor God!
How About
a Cup of Tea?
Now, I'm going
to lead you through each of the three points on this triangle.
I want you to imagine that you and I are sitting down over tea
or coffee and talking about living out our life callings. First,
I'm going to share with you how I've been finding my "sweet spot"
and then I'm going to ask you some questions. (You'll find it
helpful to discuss these questions with someone who knows you
well and can help you answer them.)
When we're
all done you'll be better prepared to live God's calling for you
with confidence and joy, honoring God and blessing others who
need what you love to give.
Are you ready?
Let's start!
Follow your
Heart and Use your Gifts
Let's start
by considering the bottom left corner of Ministry Triangle's "sweet
spot." Bruce Wilkinson says, "Your dream is beating in your chest."
It's what you're gifted to do. It's what you love to do. This
is what the Bible teaches. For instance, the wisdom of Solomon
is that "Souls who follow their hearts thrive" (Proverbs 13:19).
He probably learned this from his father David who gave us one
of my favorite Bible verses, "I will praise the Lord who counsels
me; even at night my heart instructs me" (Psalm 16:7). In other
words, one of the ways that God counsels or speaks to us is through
our hearts.
Here's how
it worked for me. When I was in high school I found that I loved
to write and I dreamed of becoming a writer. I even liked writing
papers for school! I especially enjoyed writing in my journal
my own psalms like David wrote in the Bible. I'd share my heart
with God and write down what I thought he was saying to me.
At a seminar
I went to John Eldredge asked, "When you go to the bookstore where
does your heart lead you? What kind of book do you pick up?"
Ever since I was a teenager I'd go to the section on Christian
Spirituality. Those are still the books I like to read. I dreamed
of one day writing books like I was reading.
My dream evolved
further in college when I decided to give up on my dad's dream
that I become a medical doctor and purse my interest in Christian
Psychology. For me this was my path to deeper spirituality and
ministering to people.
Along with
my training in college and graduate school I needed to identify
and develop my spiritual gifts in order to accomplish the dreams
of my heart I needed. Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test?
Or just prayed over the passages in the Bible that list the gifts
that God gives to people? To make this easier I've compiled and
described the 18 spiritual gifts referenced in three different
lists by the Apostle Paul: "Equipping Gifts" (Ephesians 4:11-13),
"Service Gifts" (Romans 12:3-8), and "Gifts of the Spirit" (1Corinthians
12:7-11). You'll
find this resource in a checklist called "Identifying Your Spiritual
Gifts."
What do you
love doing? What things do you enjoy most in life?
What are
your spiritual gifts? What has God enabled you to do well?
MEET A NEED
THAT OTHERS HAVE
Next, let's
look at the bottom right corner of the Ministry Triangle's "sweet
spot": Being a blessing to others by meeting a need that they
have.
Bruce Wilkinson
said something else that is so true and so important to realize:
"If you don't follow your dream someone's need won't be met."
What a powerful thought this is! To realize that by being who
you are - expressing your personality, doing what you love to
do and are good at doing - you will meet other people's need!
Like my friend,
the Christian Speaker I mentioned at the outset, your history
of life experiences or the hurts and struggles you've overcome
probably relates to your life calling. Let me show you how true
this is for me. I grew up in a Christian home. And while I thank
God for parents who introduced me to Jesus at a young age, took
me to church, prayed for me, taught me morality and spiritual
disciplines, stayed married to each other, and put a high priority
on family there were some important ways that the version of Christianity
that they raised me with was unhealthy.
I've said
before, with tongue in cheek, that I should start a 12-Step group
for "Adult Children of Evangelical Christian Families." My mom
dumped her emotional burdens on me. My dad was anxious and angry
much of the time. They didn't know how to talk to me about me
feelings. I felt tremendous pressure to be strong and good and
ideal for them. I didn't feel free to be a child.
And so the
Christianity that was modeled to me felt performance-based and
empty. It didn't seem to work in many ways. It was anxious and
depressing and filled with anger and conflict. Can you see where
my passion for healthy Christian living came from? Why I love
to help people go deeper with God to experience His love, joy,
and peace? Why I would use Christian psychology as my vehicle
for ministry?
It's the same
for you. God uses your life story - your journey of healing,
growth, or recovery - to bring you a powerful point of empathy
for and insight into something that people need. As the Bible
teaches, "The Father of compassion and God of all comfort.comforts
us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians
1:3b-4, NIV).
What's
your story? How has God brought healing, recovery, growth, joy
into your life?
What do
you think people need most? What issue in people's lives are
you most concerned about?
HONOR GOD
BY FOLLOWING HIS CALLING FOR YOU
Finally, let's
consider the apex of this sweet "Ministry Triangle": God's plan.
I put this last in our discussion even though it really comes
first because for most people I talk with the hardest part of
discovering their life purpose is hearing God's call. Hearing
God's call? Isn't that just for people who are "called to be
ministers or missionaries"? Maybe you don't even believe that
God still speaks to people today. I believe He does. God speaks
to ordinary people like you and I. We just need to learn to listen.
As a college
freshman I struggled with my decision to change my major from
pre-med to psychology. My dad was so unhappy with this that he
avoided talking with me for three months. He didn't know what
I'd do with a psychology degree. This was in the early 1980's,
before psychology was popular as it is today with Dr. Phil and
Dr. Laura and all. More importantly, in my Christian family it
was before Dr. Dobson was popular. My Dad thought that psychology
was for weird, crazy people. Many people (especially Christians)
thought that way back then.
One day as
I was crying out to God to speak to me about what I should do.
I picked up the same tattered and marked up Bible that I read
today. And I did one of those "I'll just open the Bible and see
where my finger lands. That's what God is saying to me!" Have
you ever done that? You were so desperate to hear from God, so
at a loss to figure out how He was leading you, that you just
randomly opened the Bible?
My finger
landed on Isaiah 55. "Come, all who are thirsty. Why spend money
on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good. I will make an everlasting
covenant with you. a witness to the peoples, a leader. The Holy
One. has endowed you with splendor. Seek the Lord while he may
be found. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and
do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud
and flourish. so is my word. will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills will burst
into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap
their hands."
I'm living
that passage. Often in the last 20 years when I've gotten lost
in my life I've returned to Isaiah 55 to get back on track.
I've heard
God speak to me in other ways too. In listening prayer many years
ago I sensed Him say to me, "Bill your pen will become your pulpit."
But my dream to write best-selling books on Christian Spirituality
was left on God's alter ten years ago when speaking through my
wife Kristi I heard, "Now is the time to write the stories of
your children's lives." (Not write books on Christian Psychology
and Spirituality.)
Then a couple
of years ago it all came together into a sharper focus for me,
a more stirring passion, when I was inspired by Dr. Schuller to
pick a life verse from the Bible. After months of prayer and
reflection my heart rejoiced over 2 Corinthians 5:20:
"We are therefore
Christ's ambassadors as though God were making His appeal through
us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."
That was it!
That's why I grew up in a depressed Christian home. That's why
even as a teenager I loved reading books on Christian spirituality.
That's why I have gifts in teaching and wisdom. That's why I
wanted to become a Psychologist. That's the path of joy for me
that Isaiah 55 was pointing me to. That's the message I'm to
write and speak about.
And so I want
for people to know and remember me as someone who brings God's
life to the deepest places in their souls so that they make Jesus
their Friend, Lover, and Passion.
How do
you want people to remember you? What do you want people to say
about you after you've died?
What do you
believe that God wants you to do with your life? How would you
describe your life purpose in a sentence? What verse in the Bible
expresses what you want to do with your life?
HONE IN ON
YOUR LIFE VERSE
It's so helpful
to identify your calling in the form of a life mission statement
or a life verse from the Bible. Don't think of this as confining,
but as defining. It's like the rudder to a sailboat that
steers you through the waters and storms of life. It's like birds
that follow their instinct to fly back home for the spring mating
season we need to hone in on our life's purpose. When you know
what you're all about it makes setting life priorities and goals
so much easier. It guides you in what to say yes to and what
to say no to - and to do it with confidence. It gives meaning
and passion to what's important to you.
The divine
calling and purpose that I'm talking to you about here is an overarching
umbrella for your whole self and your whole life. Underneath
this purpose you may have a number of dreams, large and small.
And each dream will need to have a number of goals set and realized
in order for you to achieve that dream. But everything you spend
significant time and energy on ought to fit into your life mission.
It gives meaning to your gifts and desires, your pain and concern
for other people's needs, and it honors God.
William Gaultiere,
Ph.D. is the Executive Director of the New Hope Crisis Counseling
Center at the Crystal Cathedral where he's trained over 1,000
people in Christian counseling skills. He offers "Christian Soul
Care" as a Clinical Psychologist and Spiritual Director in Irvine,
CA and on his website, ChristianSoulCare.com, which features encouraging
articles on Psychology, Family, and Christian Spirituality and
a monthly e-mail devotional.
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