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William Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Executive Director of New Hope & Psychologist ChristianSoulCare.com
Many people I
talk to think stress is bad. That isn't necessarily so. Stress is an inevitable
part of living. In fact, I've found that people who from time to time are
not experiencing and growing through some stress - challenges, struggles,
conflicts, pain - probably aren't living a very active or full life. They’re
not experiencing enough stress. They may even be depressed.
Maintaining an Optimal Stress Load
We all need what I call "optimal stress." What is optimal stress
you ask? It means that your stress level is within a moderate
range, not too high and not too low. You’re not racing
around anxiously and you’re not out of gas and depressed
either. Nor are you stuck in a rut, depressed and anxious,
spinning your wheels in futility and frustration. Instead you’re
energized and focused, making your way along the road of life.
Optimal stress challenges us to grow personally
and spiritually. It's the price of success; daring to dream,
making sacrifices, working hard, and overcoming obstacles are
the stresses of becoming successful. And stresses like conflict,
disappointment, or injury are the fires that forge good relationships
and challenge us to become better people.
We all need optimal stress like this and function best within
this moderate stress environment (see diagram). Optimal stress
helps us to focus on what matters, have energy to accomplish our
goals, stay calm under pressure, and enjoy the journey. This
is much preferable than the common alternatives of being anxious
or depressed!
How I Found the Balance
Achieving a balanced stress level can be difficult. If you're
like me your tendency isn't too little stress. It's too much.
Most of us go through seasons in our lives in which we're overloaded
with too much, often too much of a good thing.
Sometimes the fall can be one of those stressful seasons for
me! Times of family vacation from the summer are but a memory
and it seems that wave after wave of stress crash on top of me
and threaten to knock me down. School starts for my kids and
that means my wife and I need to help them with emotional adjustments,
monitor their homework, and drive them to and from school and
various activities (all on schedule!). At New Hope we begin a
series of training classes in the fall. And before I know it,
it'll be time to make plans for the holidays, buy gifts for friends
and family, and attend parties. These are all good things, but
sometimes they can be too much, especially if an unexpected crisis
hits.
That was just the case in the fall of 1995. My family and I
were knocked off our feet by a crisis. Briana, our baby girl
got very sick with whooping cough, the RSV virus, and pneumonia.
She was in intensive care until New Years and almost died twice.
Thank the Lord she is fine now and the picture of health and happiness.
But that stressful season took a toll on us. Even after Briana
was well again, my other kids recovered from the flu, and family
tensions eased we found ourselves emotionally drained and physically
exhausted. It took a few months for all of us to get back on
our feet again. You've surely had your own stressful seasons
from time to time and experienced the negative effects of that
stress. Often that means being literally knocked off your feet,
laying sick in bed, in a time of forced rest and recuperation.
Are You on Stress Overload?
For some people stress overload becomes a more severe and prolonged
problem. They don't just experience stressful seasons from time
to time they live a continuously stressful lifestyle, living under
constant pressure, anxious all the time. Their life is marked
by some of these characteristics:
- Always in a hurry.
- Using adrenaline or caffeine to sleep less and get more done.
- Expecting perfection.
- Unrealistically high self-expectations.
- Self-critical.
- Short-tempered.
- Taking life too seriously.
- Denying their feelings.
- Anxious all the time.
Are you overstressed? Do you struggle with some of the above
symptoms of stress overload? If you're like the fish that don't
know they're wet because they've always been wet you may need
to have your spouse or a friend help you assess whether or not
you're continually overstressed and just aren’t aware of
it.
Learning to R-E-L-A-X
If you've been overloaded with stress for too long then you need
to take steps to lower your stress to a more moderate level.
Doing so will help you function at a higher level in your work
and in your relationships. It’ll also help your health
and well-being.
Research suggests that those who are over stressed for six months
or longer are liable to experience a negative consequence to their
physical or emotional health. Problems like sickness, headaches,
ulcers, digestive problems, insomnia, family conflict, panic attacks,
compulsive behavior, drug addiction, eating disorders, and even
some severe medical illnesses like heart disease and cancer can
be partially caused by chronic stress.
So, how can you reduce your stress level and achieve that balance
I call optimal stress? The key is to make some important lifestyle
changes - one at a time, starting today. Here's some tips to
help you R-E-L-A-X and go from stress overload to optimal
stress:
- Rest regularly. At first you may be bored
and fidgety, but stay with it and learn to use times of rest
to recuperate and reenergize yourself. For instance, try to
get a full eight hours of sleep per night, respect the Sabbath,
take vacation time, pause during a busy day to take a deep breath.
- Enjoy yourself Have fun with your friends.
Make time for your hobbies. Exercise regularly. Laugh.
- L earn to say no. Don't try to do it all,
just the things that are most important to you. Don't try to
do things perfectly, good enough will do.
- A ccept yourself You're not perfect, but
you're loved by God and others. So practice receiving care,
asking for help, believing compliments, and saying thank you.
- X-ray and X-press yourself. Talk to God and
safe friends about your feelings regularly. This is the biblical
prescription for anxiety.
Paul said it best in the Bible:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests
to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians
4:6-7)
William Gaultiere, Ph.D. is the Executive Director of the New
Hope Crisis Counseling Center at the Crystal Cathedral and a Clinical
Psychologist and Spiritual Director with ChristianSoulCare.com.
On his website you can sign up for a free inspirational devotional
e-mail.
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