Is My Husband a Sex Addict?

Dr. Bill Gaultiere

Does your husband have a problem with compulsive sexual behavior?  This is a very painful issue and difficult to sort out.  Ask yourself these questions from the "AN ADDICT" self-test for sexual addiction to see if this might be the problem you're experiencing with him. 

1.    A LONE?  Do you feel disconnected from him during sex?  Does it seem that he is unable to be emotionally intimate with you?  Or does he rarely want sex with you?

2.    N ON-PREMEDITATED USE?  Is he abrupt with you sexually, neglecting loving conversation, romance, and foreplay?  Have you asked him to change his sexual behavior but he refuses? 

3.    A MNESIA?  Does he lose track of time or forget appointments or commitments because sex is on his mind?

4.    D EPEND ON HIGH?  Do his moods depend on whether or not he gets sex?  Is he angry or irritable if you say no to sex?

5.    D ISTRACTED?  Is he preoccupied with sex?  Does he stare at other women?  Does he frequently make inappropriate sexual comments? 

6.    I NCREASED TOLERANCE?  Does it seem like he's never quite satisfied with sex?  That it's never enough?

7.    C ONCEAL SUPPLY?  Does it seem like he's hiding something from you?  Is he spending lots of time or money that he is unaccountable for?  Does he have a stash of porn (magazines, videos, websites)?

8.    T RANQUILIZER?  Do you feel used sexually?  Like he got his fix and you're left feeling hurt, violated, dirty, or abandoned?

Scoriing: Three or more "yes" answers indicate that your husband may have a problem with compulsive sex.  To better understand what is wrong and to get help consult in person with a doctor or psychotherapist. 

Dr. Bill Gaultiere is the Director of New Hope Crisis Counseling at the Crystal Cathedral and a Psychologist with www.ChristianSoulCare.com.