Relationship Satisfaction Survey

Dr. Bill Gaultiere
Clinical Psychologist
Director of New Hope

Are you happy with your relationship with your spouse or significant other? Do you know your relationship strengths and weaknesses? With the 30 item "Relationship Satisfaction Survey" I developed you can find out. This self-test will assess your relationship in six vital areas to clarify how you're doing and what areas you need to work on in order to improve your relationship. Circle the number of any question that you answer yes to.

1. I'm not pleased with our roles in handling responsibilities at work and home.
2. We often disagree on how to deal with our kids and/or families.
3. We don't agree on how to handle our money.
4. I'm not satisfied with our spiritual life together.
5. I'm not satisfied with our sex life or expression of affection.
6. My partner says things that put me down.
7. I often hold back my true feelings from my partner.
8. I often don't feel listened to by my partner.
9. Sometimes my partner gives me the silent treatment.
10. I'm afraid to ask my partner for what I want.
11. I go out of my way to avoid conflicts with my partner.
12. I give in just to end an argument.
13. When we argue I often end up feeling the problem is my fault.
14. Our conflicts usually don't get fully resolved.
15. I'm afraid to be honest and hurt my partner's feelings.
16. We don't spend enough time as just the two of us.
17. I don't feel very close to my partner.
18. There aren't many fun activities that we enjoy together.
19. Sometimes I don't enjoy my partner's company.
20. I don't like my partner's personality.
21. My partner loses his/her temper at me often.
22. I lose my temper at my partner often.
23. Sometimes we have major conflicts over minor issues.
24. I'm afraid of my partner's anger.
25. My partner is too emotional.
26. It's hard for me to say no to my partner.
27. Sometimes I feel mistreated by my partner.
28. I don't get enough space in our relationship.
29. Sometimes I feel controlled by my partner.
30. It's hard for me to be happy if my partner is upset.

Scoring:

Total up your yes answers for each of these six relationship categories. Two or more yes answers in a category is a red flag and suggests that your relationship needs help in that area. If you can't work through these issues with your partner then you'd be wise to talk with a marriage counselor.

Category Questions Score

Stress Points 1-5

Communication 6-10

Conflict Resolution 11-15

Relational Intimacy 16-20

Emotional Reactivity 21-25

Boundaries 26-30